Hey : (

[yellowduck]

Just thought I would update you on the whole cheating fiasco that I was so upset about. We had another go at the relationship and it was fine for about 2 weeks but despite having said he'd forgiven me, my bfriend was clearly still really cut up about it (which I can't really blame him for). So he had a one night stand. I was obviously devastated but we did talk about whether we could just wipe the slate clean seeing as we'd both made mistakes. But it's the sort of thing that would have haunted us for the rest of our relationship, however long it would have been, so we decided to split. A loving relationship shouldn't need to involve that much effort, right? Do you think we've done the right thing? I'm not going to lie - I'm still totally in love with him so I'm finding it really hard to move on from him, it seems such a waste. We lost our virginites to each other too, which just makes it harder...and valentines day doesn't exactly help! I need some kind words cos am feeling very depressed at the mo : ( x

[pinkiefriend]

Hey, i'm kind of in the same boat as you. I've just split with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years and i'm finding it hard to move on. I think you just need to get out there, meet new people and try getting on with your life, although it is difficult. I have the added hastle of having to see my ex every weekend, so i'm trying to make an effort to put distance between us, which is also hard because I still want to be close to him.
People had advised me to go out on the pull, i really want to do this but feel i would find it strange snogging someone else. It's all a bit raw still i think.

I hope you get over this soon and move on with your lilfe, bigger better things!!

[4getmenot]

How can you say you both totally loved eachother if you both felt the need to go to someone else. Why was this? I'm not judging because I have cheated but then I've split up with my blokes because I know if I cheated then surely there's something wrong with the relationship in the first place. Once cheating goes on nothin is ever the same and yer you were right to split up. Just be sure that this has happened for a reason and you will find love in the end. Remember to find your rainbow you gotta put up with the Rain :-)

[kick3m0n]

Have to say that I've been in a relationship for 17 years, and sometimes it DOES take a lot of effort. We were kids when we met (18) and so have changed and grown up alot over the years. There have been a few conflicts (tho no infidelities) and at times we've wanted different things. Ultimately, if you want to make it work, you have to put in a huge amount of effort and make some compromises/sacrifices. Maybe you both just couldn't get over the cheating, I'm not sure you could have "wiped the slate clean", as it were, but with effort, lots of time, talking and perhaps some counselling, maybe you could have moved froward. Some couples do manage to stay together, sometimes very happily, after cheating happens. Maybe for one (or both) of you, that was just too much effort, too much to ask. It sounds like your ex-boyfriend wanted revenge more than he wanted to make the relationship work. In which case, I hope you'll both be able to move on. You're bound to feel depressed at the moment, that's normal when you're mourning the loss of a relationship. You just have to hope that day by day the feelings gradually subside, until one day yopu can wake up and really move on with your life. It might not happen soon, but it will happen.

[Sassea]

Hey Hey:) Notice the smile as opposed to the frown. Since you both made mistakes you "both" can move forward together. It takes two to make, two to break. If you guys care that much for each other let the bygones be bygones and move forward with a "positive" attitude. Remember, you "both" made the mistakes, you "both" can rectify. If it were a one-sided deal, then forget about it but you guys do have a chance and it would probably be a healthier one at that, as long as you "both" learned from your mistakes. If it happens again, then it definitely WAS NOT MEANT TO BE... Be together, enjoy life, move forward, learn from the mistake and God bless.... Everybody/relationship deserves a second chance...

[Spcl22]

Hey Yellowduck.... I'm sending you a huge hug. I soooooooooooooo know how your feeling. Breaking up with someone is a very hard thing to cope with, but you've got to let your 'heart' mend itself....it may take some time, but don't rush things. I've just finished reading a book called "It's Called a Break-up Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-up Buddy". It is honestly a really good book. Alot of the information is common sense, its just reminding us of ideas how to cope up with breaking up. It is written in a comical form, but it definitely isnt not ignoring how sad you may be feeling at the moment. It also gives lots of stories about other people's break-ups, which are very funny!!! I would advise to get the book, its helped me.... Keep smiling...your heart will join in with the smile very soon... : )