Do you always miss your other half ?

[peterd]

Whenever my girlfriend goes out (not very often), when she get back home she always asks if I've missed her & I always say "yeah of course." However it's not strictly always true. I like to keep myself busy & don't mind my own company but she can't understand this & reckons we should do everything together. Anyone else feel the same? Before anyone says try a trial seperation to see if you miss her, I've done that but end up feeling the same after a while.

[laurence2]

peterd, its a girl thing, they like the reassurance, or she's obsessed with you.

joking aside take it as a compliment tho admit 24/7 might be a little O.T.T.

[WendyS]

Is your girlfriend insecure? She sounds as if she might be if she feels the need to be joined to you at the hip all the time. I'm sure most people need a little time and space on their own occasionally to indulge in their own hobbies and interests. To my mind, being able to be happy and contented in your own company is a sign of being a well integrated individual. Perhaps in future when she asks if you missed her tell her the truth on the lines of "Well, if you'd been away for a week, yes, I would have missed you but you've only been gone a couple of hours and I've been so busy that I've hardly had time to realise you weren't there." Or be even more honest by replying "Not really, I do enjoy your company butI actually enjoyed having that time to myself."

If this is how your personality is, you'll only be unhappy if you don't have a long term life where you can occasionally have some personal space.

Encourage your girlfriend to develop a few more interests of her own, i.e. evening classes, visiting the gym, line dancing, whatever, so that she develops more self confidence and doesn't need to be hanging onto your elbow all the time. Having a few separate interests will give you both more to talk about.

[peterd]

WendyS you are right, she is insecure but more 'cos her ex worshipped her & I don't. I do love her but I'm not into the 24/7 stuff at all - never will be. I'll take yr advice next time she asks (prolly tonight) & watch her reaction. She does go to the gym & swimming by the way. Thanks to everyone else who replies all suggestions will be read

[Drisgirl]

peter - my husband works away and I dont miss him.I speak to him a few times on the phone but that apart I just get on with my life.Thank goodness for her you werent in WW11 - she might not have seen you for years.

I'm like you - for as much as I love him coming home - I just cant do what I usually do - like having the remote to myself.There are obvious benefits though!!

[mydogsandme]

sounds a bit too claustraphobic for my liking. My hubbie works shifts and I like it when he's not around some evenings...I watch what I want, get into my dressing gown early without feeling guilty or if I'm feeling energetic I clean the house without anyone tutting about the noise or getting in the way of the telly. I'm sure he enjoys when I go out too- he listens to his music or watches DVD's that I hate. I couldn't stand living in someone's pocket.

[treacle84]

I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend as we live together and have similar time tables at uni but we don't live in each others pockets- we're both very independent. Plus, I love spending a day or two without him because when you see each other again you appreciate the things that you missed while he was away and this is what keeps things fresh. tell your girlfriend this and see what she says :)

[andy-hughes]

My wife is away on buisness every couple of months for a week at a time, and I do miss her, but i am perfectly content to have my own company for some of the time. Our teenage daugher and I eat crap food and watch crap telly and stay up too late, but we are really pleased when she comes home.

That said, we are independent anyway, I'm a freelance music writer in my spare time, so I am off to gigs, and writing in the spare room, so we do our own thing even if we are both in the house, of course, she does her thing and I do mine, and when we feel like it, we put our things together!

[whiskeysheri]

My boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship. We see each other every weekend and I love having the week days to myself, I get to see my friends and family as often as I want and go shopping!

I wouldn't worry about it. I truly don't miss my boyfriend and I don't think that's wrong.

[Greedyfly]

Is it? Im a girl and I don't ask or indeed care much about being missed lol. I mis smy partner if hes away for the night but if he goes out or is out when I get home it doesnt really cross my mind. I agree with the insecurity alot of people suffer from insecurity in some way or another and feel the need to be wanted constantly or more than often. Its not a bad thing, it is very common with both men & women. Just try to reassure her more.

[WendyS]

Well Peter, from the responses you've received I hope you'll see that you're far from being unusual in your need for some private time and personal space. In fact, I'd say it was pretty normal. If your girlfriend continues to want and need this kind of reassurance indefinitely, you may have to ask yourself whether you can cope with this kind of "neediness". In time it could become a tight noose which ends up strangling you. Your girlfriend is perhaps having difficulty adapting to a relationship where she is not placed on a pedestal all the time but nobody can hijack another person's life 100% of the time and continue to enjoy a healthy relationship with them.

[metagirl]

perhaps you are reading too much into her comment? She may think she is just being polite or "cute" like "oh baby, did you miss your little sweetie?" or something like that, meanwhile she is flirting like a regular vixen at the gym.

if her last boyfriend "worshipped" her as you say I'd say you've got the issue - not her. Maybe if after she came back she said, "oh, you're still here?" you'd want her more? sounds like typical "guy BS" to me. sorry.