1st time sex

[Nat13]

is it true that sex for the first time hurts? One of my friends who has had sex said that it didn't hurt her at all but another said that she was almost crying!!!!!! does it hurt most people or does it not?! Also, do you bleed a lot, a little or none at all, or does it depend with each person???

xx nat xx

[Aura]

It varies. It will only hurt if you don't relax, but it does get easier the more you do it. Your best bet is to visit your local wellwoman or Family planning centre. Foreplay is best, if your boyfriend really loves you, he'll wait until you are truley ready.

Hope this is ok.

[dancealot13]

Nat13, It all depends on how stretched out your cervix is. For example, Im a dancer and I also waited untill I was 19 to have sex, so when it came time, it was awesome and it didn't hurt at all. My friends (almost ALL of them) lost their verginity at a very young age, and most of them felt discomfort or pain, some bleed a bit. But it really just depends on if your body has matured to that point or not.

[**Clem**]

Hi Nat. Like most things it does vary from person to person. My own experience was a horrible one though - I did bleed, it really did hurt and took me a while to get over.

I can't emphasize this enough but, like the others have said, please make sure you're not too young and that you have a boyfriend who loves you. That way I'm sure it will be as amazing as it should be.

Take care x

[Ethel]

Don't be alarmed by dancealot's answer. It's nothing to do with your cervix - that comes into play when you have a baby.

I'm sure she meant hymen - if you've been using tampons your hymen is probably broken already.

Some women bleed, some don't. Some find it painful, some don't.

Be relaxed when it happens, make sure you are in a truly loving relationship where he will treat you kindly and with respect and all will be well.

[ccml]

Hi Nat

The advice already given is great but I just wanted to add my thoughts. In my experience you really, REALLY need to be ready before penetration. Start the 'foreplay' well before you are going to bed, flirt, text, flash a thigh, etc so you are primed. Then when you do get together spend lots of time getting to know each others body, lots of massage and kissing, etc. It sounds crude but wat until you are really raring to go and then chances are you will be 'wet' down below which makes SO much difference. Failing the natural do try a lubricant (I know, I know its embarrassing but some smells so good and will help you relax further).

When the time finally comes, slowly slowly does it, give yourself time to open up and relax before you go deeper / faster and make sure you 100% trust your partner to slow down (however close he is) when you need him to.

There is no need for it to be anything other than very very slightly uncomfortable and shouldn't ever be painful if you trust each other, are both ready, not in a rush and are making love and not just 'losing your viginity' for the sake of it.

Please, please be sure you are ready though, I can not stress enough that giving your body to another is a gift.

Take care, protect yourself from pregnancy and disease and be safe.

cx

[dancealot13]

Nat13

So so sorry. I totally ment hymen NOT cervix!! ;)

But the hymen does come into play often, because I've read about women that waited just as long as I did (19), and it still hurt them, but they were probably tense and not aroused enough. I agree with all the women, relax and explore eachothers body. Thats so important (and also a lot of fun).

Sorry for the mistake.

ps. Take your time, there's no rush.

[avia16]

just remember girl everyones body is different. some girls it will hurt some it wont, some will bleed some wont. unfortunatly both happened to me it did hurt but just when he was putting it in then it was great it was the best feeling i have ever got and i only bleed for about a minute and also remember if you love them you wont care how much it hurts or how much you bleed, you will get used to it and you will want it all the time.

[RebeccaSJ]

It hurt a bit at first, but he was good and took good care of me, so eventually I gave in to the pleasure and it didn't hurt after that.

[RebeccaSJ]

It didn't for me.