Help

[MURKY]

I am in a long distance relationship. I am only young. However, my boyfriend's mother is dying (in a coma) and so he uses this to cheat on me. He told 3 other people he loved them (he has never met them, only by letters) and says it was because I was not giving him security or support. He has told them all he was mistaken and that he loves me. Should I forgive him? Am I to blame?

[seanywal]

Hiya, I am in a long distance relationship i have been for about two years now she lives in Canada. I know how hard this can be. I dont know how old this fella is but it sounds like he is a bit messed up over the who mum thing. You will have to decide weather or not to forgive him for cheating that all depends on your feelings for him. DONT let him blame you for it! it is impossible to provide security longdistance all you CAN do is trust and wait for better times. If you dont have trust is a long distance relationship you dont have nothing.

[joko]

are you sure his mums ill? sounds like he is full of excuses and playing games - no excuse for telling THREE other women hes never met he loves them - whats the game? - get rid

[jno]

Cheating on you by mail, with people that he's never met, is a pretty mild sort of cheating; and he's acted rather unusually and bravely in taking it back and telling them he really loves you. He could very well be feeling mixed up about his mother's illness.

That doesn't mean it's your duty to provide 'security and support', whatever that means... in fact, you probably need to sit down together and work out what it does mean. What does he need from you? Are you able, and willing, to provide it? To have a close relative very sick means you're in an artificial situation at the moment, and being long-distance is the same; but you should try to work together to smooth your path in the longer term.