Starmer & Lammy A Marriage Made In...
News8 mins ago
No best answer has yet been selected by loopyc. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Hi hun. I really don't think it's selfish at all.
My mum and dad divorced when I was 14. At that time they literally hated each other's guts and couldn't bear to be in the same room as each other. They didn't argue in front of me and my brother and sister but the was a really tense atmosphere.
I'm so pleased that they didn't stay together for us, for their sake and ours. Now I'm 21 and my mum and dad are best friends. We even had Christmas all together with all the grand parents and I never thought that would happen.
Hope everything works out okay, loopy. Lots of love x
No, i believe it is not selfish, children will adapt to the situation, Why should you stay in a relationship because you have kids, yes it can be difficult depending on the age of the children, but their are to many relationships that stay togeather for the sake of their kids and the majority end up in a worst situation.
Think of the effect this will have on the kids if you stay togeather?
hi loopyc, so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. It's not selfish to leave/split up, it's clearly the right thing to do if you are so unhappy and things are as bad as you have described to us.
As for your partner slitting his wrists in front of you, that's his CHOICE, all you did was make yours. You mustn't let yourself become emotionally manipulated by a man whose got NO intention of killing himself. He clearly likes and enjoys the drama and attention that little stunt got him and now realises that that's the best way to push your buttons and manipulate you into doing what HE want's you to. Don't buy into that c**p. Tell him there's no way you want him to kill himself but if he chooses to then that's his problem, don't even enter into a conversation about it ahead of that or be drawn further, it'll only appeal to his sense of self importance if you do and make it harder.If he implies the kids will hate you if he kills himself, tell him they are not so foolish as to not realise what's happening and that if he should do so then that's his choice and you'll deal with any reaction when the times comes.
If your partner was going to kill himself he'd slope off quietly somewhere and make sure he got it right, not make a huge dramatic gesture in front of you. That's just blatant manipulation and will only get worse if you put up with it.
Your kids will adjust fine if you are careful and tactful, there is no need for splitting up to be the worst thing that ever happens to them, make it a new start and something positive and that's the way they'll see it too. Good luck.
Not at all! Why stay in a loveless marriage just because you think it will be better for the children? I am speaking from experience here. My parents don't get on but are still together and it is clear to me, my bro and my sis that we are the reason they are still here. We would much rather have 2 single happy parents than 2 together ones who aren't happy at all!
Its a big burden to put on a kid and really its just an excuse. The easiest thing in the world would be for you to stay! But for how long? When the kids go to college? When they move out? When they are gone, what does that leave you and your husband with?
I am 21, my sister is 18 and my brother is 15! I don't think my parents are worried about me and my sister so much but more worried about my brother and his GCSE's coming up! But there will never be a good time to split.. he will start college. Then have more exams.. then Uni.. then have more exams.. then he will move out! Its not going to be easy.. but you only have to do it once! Then you will be free... if you stay... who knows how much longer you will be there for. Do you really want to look back and think 'I was with him 25yrs and so unhappy. What a waste'!!
Ruby xx
My parents divorced whilst i was a teenager, and for a good few years before that living in the house was hell.
Staying together for the kids is the worst thing you can do, they will be living in an awkward environment and it gives them a screwed up opinion of real relationships, and undermines parental respect. as long as you can keep the relationship amicable with you ex, leave.
loopyc-I know this isn't an answer to your question but why do you think your husband said he would kill himself? Does he want to work on the marriage? Have you tried counseling? From the sound of it all it seems you have just completely fallen out of love with him, and it's really over for you. But if there is a bit of love there ...hold on to it .
My parents were married for 18 years. My mom walked out on us all when she was going through her midlife crisis stage. That was 10 years ago, and luckily my parents are very good friends now. But not a week goes by that I don't hear her say something about how she regrets giving up on her marriage. She says to me "Jessica, we always think the grass is greener on the other side,..but it isn't hunny. It just isn't"
My mom happens to be very outgoing and very attractive. Even though it is easy for her to meet men,..she still has had no luck with anyone. Everytime my father comes over, they sit down and talk. When he leaves..everytime..she cries in her room.
When you divorce everything gets turned up-side-down. No more family vacations, no more family dinners, or family outings, your time with your kids is split up, holidays get split up, kids often get aggressive and angry. They often rebel. Money gets tight, support from another adult is no longer there so you don't have anyone backing you up anymore. UUGG the list goes on and on and on.
I just wanted to point these things out even though Im sure you are aware of all this. But hearing it and actually going through it are to totally different things. Your lives will completely change.