Treated as a doormat

[jibjab]

I dont like the way people treat me (including me friends) but i am told that it is because im too sensitive.....

An example is we went out on the weekend and a mate threw a chip at me, so i knocked his chips into his face....

I dont always react like this but I am 23 and EVERYBODY patronises me and it feels like they are picking on me, BUT ITS MY OWN PROBLEM. unless i resolve my own issues, i will always be treated like this?

My mates all can argue very well and make points whereas I am rubbsh and get treated like a naieve child....it is also the same at work.

People tell me i need to stand up for myself but I dont seem able to

Nay suggestons would be great

[Champagne]

The sad fact is that there are people out there who single out the weaker ones to pick on. It's basic bullying and can be as minor as having a chip thrown at you. You don't have to be good at arguing or good with your fists to make a stand. You deserve to be treated the way that you treat others. If people don't treat you with the same respect, then cut them out of your life and don't think about them again. If you surround yourself with people who are positive towards you, you'll soon gain in confidence and strength of character.

[jno]

Champagne's right, you could be hanging out with the wrong sort of people. But it depends. Are you sure that throwing a chip at you is patronising? It might be a genuine joke you'd do to a real friend, in which case you severely overreacted. Or it might be a gesture of contempt, in which case your reaction was fine - but you'd be better off backing it up by having nothing more to do with the guy (who needs contempt from their 'friends'?)

It's easy to say 'dump your friends and find new ones', of course, and much harder to do. And only you can decide if the benefits you get from the friendship, whatever they are, outweigh the drawbacks. But personally I'd avoid people who treat me badly, even if the alternative was having no friends at all for a while.

[Hamish]

Its difficult to comment without knowing you and spending time with you. Your example sounds like an over reaction and this coul dbe caused by many different things. For example I am much less patient with my mum than others becuase of our history - the problem of over sensitivity is due to the way I perscieve my mums behaviour. If you have having the same problem with many different people then it suggests the problem lies with you. In my experiance may extreems of behavour are a result of a lack of confidence - ie always joking, never serious; very quiet never interacting; always trying to please everyone even when you get seriously dumped on over and over; bullying others.

Try going on a course to improve your self esteem, conficence and self worth. If you are confident in yourself then you will be able to brush off things wich currently you find hurtful/upsetting/critical.