The Dumper

[fancypants]

Is it normal to feel like complete pooh after dumping someone? i have recently finished with partner or 3 years , still love him i think but just can't carry on relationship due to his laziness and our big differences . Will i feel better or feel horrible forever and ever??

[wildwood]

It is completely normal to feel like that at the moment. Three years is a big chunk out of your young life. You can not carry on a relationship if you are not suited to each other. It may not look likely now, but you are going to get over it.
Gosh, I feel like a Dear Aunt...

[WendyW]

As wildwood says it is normal to feel awful. It just shows that you are a nice person ... don't worry you will start to feel better and from what you have said about him it sounds as if you had had enough. Just let some time pass and in the meantime don't sit around moping try to go out and do things.

[woodpam]

No you won't feel bad forever, you've given yourself a chance to meet someone more suited to you (you know a bit more about what you want now) and for him to do the same. Hopefully he may look at his attitude to life and up his energy levels and make a completely new start with someone else. It's hard to live with someone when everything is a compromise and you always feel like you're putting up with a lot. Enjoy yourself and be glad there's a whole world of possibilities in front of you both.

[fancypants]

Thanks all of you. i reckon you are right it is definitely for the best , my friends all agree.after all i am only 24 and i still have plenty of time to do loads of things. The newest problem is that he appears to be very reluctant to move out of my flat and although he is not sleeping there he is definitely there in the day. I think the prospect of being 33 and living with his Dad is a bit daunting!!!

[KARL]

Entirely normal for a normal person who also is able to appreciate the feelings likely to affect the dumped. Uncertainty about the future is likely to affect both, plus having to admit (at leat inwardly) that the past was not a success. Chin up - it can only get better, really. As the song goes: Always look on the bright side of life .....