The Dumper cont...

[fancypants]

Thanks all of you. i reckon you are right it is definitely for the best , my friends all agree.after all i am only 24 and i still have plenty of time to do loads of things. The newest problem is that he appears to be very reluctant to move out of my flat and although he is not sleeping there he is definitely there in the day. I think the prospect of being 33 and living with his Dad is a bit daunting!!! So without brute force and upsetting him how on earth do i get him to leave??

[comloulou]

Ask him to leave, if he says no, wait till he goes out and change the locks. voila, no squatting ex!

[fancypants]

prob is he has bad temper , i am away this weekend and don't trust him not to trash place if i come all heavy handed and change locks. i am such a wuss

[parkhead]

Tell him that the break up was hard for you to and you want to move on yourself as the flat holds too many memories. This way he will believe both of you are in the same boat and not feel bitter that he is the only one looking for somewhere else to live. Doesn't matter if you don't move on, it will buy you some time until you have been away and can change the locks with out getting the place trashed. If he then asks why you have never moved out you just haven't found anywhere yet, but are still looking. Also this will give you the chance to leave loads of ads for flats lying about so he might just get tempted by one of them. Sneaky I know.

[RCP]

Stop whining and move out yourself. If he wasn't so lazy he probably would have dumped you anyway as you sound like a real moaner!

[WendyW]

Fancypants .. take no notice of RCP .. you just get on with sorting out your life. Good Luck

[beenee]

Try and get an annoying sibling, or a girlfriend to move in with you for a bit - pretend as if they'll be staying forever... treat the space as your own, doing girly things, listening to loud music, coming home late etc. Hopefully he'll get irratated and leave himself.

[comloulou]

RCP sounds like a very unpleaseant person so i agree, ignore him'her. You dont owe the ex anything. Sit him down, tell him how you feel and tell him what you want. Its your life and your home.

[fancypants]

oooh RCP put your claws away. Good advice from everyone else though thanks. Maybe i am a moaner so will stop now