People who have a problem with hearing?

[giraffe_02]

I have a question about a member of my family who has a problem with hearing things and when we have conversations he/she misses half of what we say or we have to repeat things we say and it can be quite frustrating. ( not in a horrible way) We try and ask he/she to look into getting an hearing aid, but he/she refuses to get one but he/ she would benefit from it enormously how would I go about persuading he/she without upsetting he/she?

[SaxyJag]

It is frustrating, isn't it.

Is he/she really not hearing, or just not listening? Only we have a family member (who does wear hearing aids) who we're pretty sure is just so self-centred these days that it's clear she's not listening to a word we're saying (she DOES hear if she asks a question and wants an answer).

What about telling your relative that the cause of the deafness may not necessitate a hearing aid? Get him/her to just have a check at the doctor. It could be wax or a mild infection, easily curable. If the doctor subsequently refers him/her to a hearing clinic, he/she may be more inclined to listen to the doc than to you.

[spudqueen]

I have a slight hearing problem, but not enough of a loss to get a hearing aid. I too find it hard when there's a few people talking, especially in a noisy atmosphere like a pub or if there is music or the tv on. I've learnt to look at peoples lips not their eyes but I still miss out. The in-laws have gone rather deaf in their old age and I constantly joke about getting them matching ear trumpets but I think that it's another admission of old age and they just don't want to go down that road yet. Sorry, I don't seem to have been of much help, just sympathising really!

[giraffe_02]

He/she does need a hearing aid, he/she has said it is like everything he/she hears goes through the washing machine, he/ she use to work in the mills and that has contributed to their lack of hearing.

[giraffe_02]

Thanks Spudqueen for your answer, it is a bit similar to my relative. They can lip read, but I just feel he/she would pick up what we say a bit more as I can tell it bothers them when he/she misses what's been said.

[RoadAtlas]

OK guys, I'm one of those who only caught a bit of what was being said. After a fair few comments from family and friends, eventually I went to my GP who referred me to the hospital. It turned out I had 1/4 hearing in one ear and 1/2 hearing in the other - no wonder the tv had been so loud !!! I had the aids fitted - all digital - and how brilliant they are - I can now hear the punch lines of the jokes or the little "asides" that add so much to the quality of life. I can also hear the emergency vehicles on the highway and, more just as importantly, the hifi in the car !!

That will teach me to stand in the mosh pit !!

[derekpara]

It's a sad fact that deaf or partially deaf people get far less sympathy than the blind. Most people don't have the patience to communicate with them. If you are blind and want to cross the road, there's always someone to help. If you're deaf and want a conversation, no-one wants to know.

Your family member is trying to stave off the inevitable for as long as possible, and who's to blame him/her ? You've got to put up a fight against things that are trying to drag you down.. You have got to be patient. Don't let your frustration be a barrier to communication. Not easy. but let love keep you together, not a hearing problem force you apart. He/she will accept help in his/her own time. Good luck.

[tubeway]

I am a private sector hearing aid audiologist and very often the hardest part is getting the person with the hearing loss to admit that they have a problem. Having a full hearing consultation with testing can help to prove to them the problem that they have and helping them to deal with it. It very often is the family that notices firsr, but as their hearing loss progresses then they will get to the point when they are more willing to seek help.

[undercovers]

Could you stop trying to accommodate their problems e.g. don�t shout to them, don�t let them have the tv volume up so loud (if you share the house), don�t rearrange the seats so that their best ear is nearest to the group / talker� it might give them more of an incentive to take some responsibility for their own problems and get some help � for which you should provide all the support they need getting appointments etc.

[shaneystar2]

My brother and sister-in.law ..both now in their early seventies are very deaf.They both have hearing aids ..in fact my brother has one in each ear.Perhaps they are worried that the hearing aids will show .Some people worry about this ..my Mum did and would never wear her hearing aid ...too vain !!
My sister -in-law was quite content to have a hearing aid but my brother was a different story !! But we did manage to persuade him in the end.You could say to your relative that they do have an advantage in that they can turn the hearing aid off too ! My brother often tunes out ! You can also get the loop system put in for T.V etc .
These digital hearing aids are so tiny you don't notice them. I do hope your relative will consider getting a hearing test ..it would be a new lease of life for them and you.

[giraffe_02]

Thanks everyone for your helpful answers. I realise that, my relative needs to do things in their own time and that forcing them and getting on at them will make them worse and more replusive. I will try and suggest it to them gradually!! Thanks again :-)