love

[blond_law]

I was just reading the posts for first loves. Just curious, how long did it take u to get over your first love. Mines been nearly 4 and a half years and i still think of him now and again in passing and wonder what if. Does that ever go away. he's living with someone else now and they've been together a couple of years so i really should stop!

[4getmenot]

You cant get over them, if you do then it was just lust. True love never dies. x

[kevshakry]

i didnt say i get over my ex. he is my first true love. I wouldnt tell him that though.

[Pootle]

Oh dear, that doesn�t bode well for me then! The love of my life broke up with me earlier this year. We were together for 3 and a half years; we pledged our love and lives together, real deep best friendship and soul-mate type stuff, she was the �one.� I gave her all my love, trust and loyalty and I sincerely thought we would be together forever. Then one day, she told me she wasn�t in love with me anymore and its absolutely destroyed me. She is constantly, and I do mean constantly, on my mind during every waking moment of the day no matter what I am doing.

[dancealot13]

4getmenot- I wouldn't be so quick to word it as "You CANT get over them". Of course you get over them, we get over death and we get over love. The world moves on...no matter what. BUT! If you let yourself dwell on the person, day in and day out...then it's going to take you even LONGER to get over someone. If you always think "the grass was greener when...." , and you're always living in the past,...then it can be incredibly difficult to get over love. Plus, I don't think it is fair or healthy to put all of your happiness into one person, and I think too often we do that. It's easier to place happiness in the hands of external things or people, then it is to make it your own responsibility.

Pootle- You will get over your first love, and any love for that matter. Life changes, and if we don't look at change as a positive 'New Begining'...then change can make life very difficult.

[dancealot13]

Ill share my story quickly. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, but we broke up last year for almost 7 months. I was living in NYC and he was living in Rochester, NY (where all my family lives). He broke up with me because of my career choice (wich I have now moved on from). I was so devestated for the entire 7 months that we were apart. We never talked once during those 7 months--just incredible. I thought my life couldnt go on with out him..blah blah blah.

Eventually I found this strength within me, that of course was not consistent. But I had to stop focusing my life around him, and then before my eyes...my life became about ME! And it felt great. Him and I are now together again and he's my heart. But the experienc of breaking up and loosing him was one of the best learning experiences I could have gone through. I learned, not to put all my happiness in people around me...to find it within. I learned, to be independent, confident, and secure in this world and now I know I can handle any turn my life may bring. Im stonger for it.

As much as he is the man of my dreams,...if it doesn't work out. It will be hard, but Ill be ok.

[Morrisonker]

I think it is ridiculously unfair to say you *never* get over your first love, of course you do, it doesn't mean you have to hate them or you can't think of them fondly. I broke up with my first love in Feburay after 3 years and I'm 'over' him. Maybe it's because I broke up with him, rather than the other way round or it being a mutal decision. I don't know what it is, but I'm much happier without him than I was with him towards the end.

[spk]

I think you get over them but they always have a special place in your heart. I split up with my forst real proper love over a year ago and I still think about him alot and wonder what if. Sometimes you just have to accept things in life though- even though somebody was your soul mate for however long doesnt mean you wont find another soul mate in the future. We just need to learn from them and become stronger for the next time round. Its always painful to think about an ex with someone else, but that doesnt mean you should be with them