is it right?

[catherine_s]

ok...hypothetically of course....do you think its right to sleep with someone who is (at least) twice your age and such a 'union' would become gossip at the local pub and all your friends would probably be horrified with you because the guy is totally unsuitable. i guess what i'm getting at is..is it ok for a girl to view sex in a way that many guys do, no emotional attachment, just sex for sex, no matter who it's with

[dot.hawkes]

no no and no in that order

[tomestone]

I dont think prostitutes would have a problem with it

[Rubyrose]

I think it doesn't matter how old they are. If you like them, you like them. I don't think it should have been passed round as public knowledge, but I would tell my friends not to judge me over it all. Its not their business who I sleep with. I think that if a guy can have such a casual manner about sex then why can't a woman? I know its sometimes much more difficult for a woman though as they do tend to be more emotionally driven but if you can do it.. why should it be a problem!

[catherine_s]

not exactly the answer i was searching for thanks....i didnt explain myself well enough it would seem, when i say 'no matter who its with', im not talking about someone picked up off the street, just someone unsuitable who you have no emotional attachment to.

[catherine_s]

wasnt referring to your answer sorry rubyrose

[tomestone]

Bang on ruby,its down to her and nothing to do with anyone else.

[Rubyrose]

Tomestone.. Lol.. when you said 'Bang on' what exactly did you mean? Lol. I almost read it the wrong way! Lol ;o)

[Rubyrose]

I actually did like someone who was sooooo unsuitable for me and a good 15yrs older than me. Nothing happened but my friends didn't judge. They gave advice when I asked for it and none of them said something just coz they thought I wanted to hear it. The advice was honest and helpful. But if any of them had said 'What the hell are you doing'? (actually thats a lie... a couple did but they were just looking out for me) but its not down to them!

I think I am waffling now!

[joko]

it 2006 - it is much more usual and acceptable for women to be as free as men when it comes to sex.

humans are just like all other animals - we want sex. it is only humans and our invented social conventions that have made sex into something apparently 'shameful' to a lot of people.

hopefully the idea that a women who likes sex and goes and gets it, is some sort of disgusting trollop will die out pretty soon

[johnlambert]

I agree with Dot.

[Rubyrose]

Well said Joko.. ***

[catherine_s]

thats the problem though, everyone is saying to me that i should go out there and have fun, when i actually do everyone frowns upon it, i cant win and despite it being my life and my decision what people think of me is important no matter how strong i try to be

[Rubyrose]

Catherine.. at the end of the day... if someone judges you like that then they aren't a real friend. I don't care about someone's opinion of me unless I respect them and if I respect them then they don't have a bad opinion of me. Life is to short to go around wondering what everyone if thinking about you. Go and have fun with this guy and don't let anyones opinion stop you from doing what you want.xx

[tomestone]

This could be the graduate in reverse,if you see what i mean,

[catherine_s]

dont think there would be a film made about it though

[Pippa68]

You go girl ~ have fun & stay safe..life is too short!

[noxlumos]

Age shouldn't matter and is none of anyone else's business and niether is how "suitable" someone is.Before I married my second wife I had a 12 month relationship with a girl who was 17 at the time and I was 35 and although some people did comment at the end of the day it was none of their damned business and we didn't split up because of age or their opinions but for other reasons.Women should be free to choose their partner without fear of being labelled a tart because they like sex, isn't that one of the things that equality is supposed to be about, yet 100% of the people who critisised her choice in me were female... so looks like women judge other women more harshly than men do. Just enjoy your life, too short not to and to hell with other people's opinions.

[joko]

you are right nox, it does tend to be women who have the most problem with this kind of thing.
i think its mainly for two reasons - they worry that a women who they see as 'a goer' will tempt their men away from them and also they voice their opposition the loudest so as to prove to all men (and women) who may be listening that they are not 'like that' themselves, (well so long as no-one finds out anyway, eh?)

its a sorry state of affairs that women turn on other women about this kind of thing - we will never truly get equality until all the stupid women who still think in terms of 'its a mans world', start to think of themselves as people not in terms of 'traditional' gender roles

[Bohne]

If you are worried that much about what other people think, then no! Don't do it!

Otherwise, yes, whatever makes you (both) feel good is OK!