Being Two Faced

[Supernick]

It's that time of year again when the back biting starts on Big Brother and everyone is accused of being 2 faced. Is it a bad thing though?

Everyone talks about people they know when that person is not there, and often we have some nastier things to say that we wouldn't say to the face of that person, but isn't that just healthy? I moaned to a couple of people about my flatmate being soooo lazy today, and how it was getting right on my wick, but when i see him tonight it will all be fine and we'll get on really well. I was able to vent a few frustrations, but not jeopardise our relationship with an argument. So what's wrong with talking about people behind their back?

[Supernick]

I also think it helps forge stronger bonds with the other people that you're talking to, making you closer friends.

[joko]

i agree in principle but unfortunately your reasons for being two faced are not always why other people do it.

some people are just nasty and spiteful and just can't have a conversation without b*tching.

and some do it to deliberately cause trouble

some do it because they are just so up themsleves that no-one else is good enought for them.

some do it because they are just so self absorbed they don't even realise they are doing it

so you see your reason is just one of many and the others aren't healthy

[4getmenot]

people in my town do it to cause trouble. Unfortaunetly sometimes being honest isnt always best. I tend to tell the truth and everybody else then denies it and I get in more trouble for making stuff up, because I'm the minority. :-(

[gill3891]

I know what you mean, it is good to vent to others about annoying qualities a person may have, however, when this is all the time, thats when the problems start!

I have a friend who always seems to wana b***h about all our other friends to me, and it's the most frustrating thing ever! Seriuosly, everytime she talks to me!

Its hard for me too coz I would rather not know the bad points of these people and be blissfully happy! It's making me feel anomosity (not sure how you spell that) to this person who is doing the b***hing!

Sorry just wanted to rant (and b***h about this person i suppose)! I do think it's a healthy way to vent your frustrations about people but it can be a seriously nasty quality if it is done all the time!

[Octavius]

Some do it because their life is empty and they really have nothing else to talk about, unless they talk about themselves of course.

[andy-hughes]

It is only seen as 'two-faced' because we have access to everyone speaking, which the housemates don't, and it is edited carefully to make entertaining TV.

Talking about people is the civilised equivalent of grooming among primates. They comb each other's fur and remove bugs, we talk and exchange information, but the reason, and the result, is the same - it bonds members of the tribe together. thes bonds shift constantly, depending on the vibe among the individuals present, but it goes on because it instinctive.

We should try and remeber this when we are judging people who are in full view in an aritificial environment, thrown together with strangers. A degree of discussion, and bonding, is natural,

[Goodsoulette]

I think there is sounding off and there is being b1tchy. Saying you flatmate is lazy and doesnt do his fair share sounds like sounding off to me. Some people really do like to dig the knife in and thrive off playing friends against each other. I dont care, genuinely, what people say about me behind my back. If they really hated me they wouldnt call me and ask me to go out with them, I dont get offended if I hear a mate had a moan about something I did. It nice if they tell you but some people feel awkward about approaching these subjects with the person in question.