Dating Conundrum

[Supernick]

Boy meets girl

Boy and Girl go on a few dates and liem each other

Boy arranges to meet girl on another date. She never shows up and doesn't contact to apologise for a week.

Boy finishes with girl

Girl says she's sorry and has made a big mistake, and wasn't being herself. Says she's has a tough time of late and regrets the incident.

What should boy do?

(Anyone cunning enough may have guessed that boy is code for me)

[Supernick]

liem = like. Not even sure how I made that typo

[bex401]

Give her a second chance!!You only live once!!

[jno]

Apologies are better late than never, but you deserve a fuller explanation than 'oops'. Listen to her excuse, then decide. Maybe she's perfectly genuine but she lost her job or broke her leg or something. Whether boy wants girl back is part of the equation.

[Champagne]

Go for it! Even if it doesn't work out you'll still only suffer a bruised ego. Like jno says, it may be a valid reason.

[Supernick]

Unfortunately, the reason doesn't stretch beyond, "I was just caught up with friends elsewhere and didn't really think about it". Not a good sign. Oh, and I might add that she did something very similar for the 2nd date. We casually arranged to go out and when I called her on the day, couldn't get through to her etc and she never got back until the day after. I do want her back though, so I guess it's a question of dignity and pride. She works with a lot of my mates, so it's a fairly public loss of dignity.

[redcrx]

if you want her back and are prepared to give her another chance then do so.

I think you should decide now what you will do if she does it again though. Dont let her continue to do this in future

[purpose]

But ultimately you would look more of a tw@ if it went on for date after date after date etc...

Loss of dignity now would surely be easier for you...?

[Octavius]

Avoid. She sounds selfish and problematic to me - as well as unreliable. Just imagine loking forward and seeing all those occasions where she has a 'tough time of late' which all turn out to be her independant social life getting in the way of seeing you.

It's your choice, but proceed with caution. Play hard to get and don't let her wrap you around her little finger.

[WendyS]

Hm, I'm not sure I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. If she really liked you first time round, she's be only too eager to make the second date, or, if something serious had happened, to ring you and warn that she couldn't make it. I suspect she may just be using you, which is a hurtful thing to come to terms with and her behaviour may be suggestive of her general attitude, in which case, if you carry on dating her, be prepared for more casual dismissals in the future if something or somebody more interesting comes along. If you're really keen on her and are prepared to be hurt give her one more chance. But only one!

[jno]

yes, reliability is a good thing in relationships (though often underrated), and it doesn't sound like she's got it. Over to you how highly you rate it, but I'm guessing you wouldn't have started this thread if you weren't very put out by it all. My guess is she's not the one for you, because she doesn't seem to want you as much as you want her.

[Supernick]

Perhaps Champagne and bex401 have convinced me. Perhaps because it's what I want to hear! Octavius and purpose have very vaild points, which I've stressed to her, and so if I see her again I'll definitely be wary and not throw myself in naively.

Either way, I've just been for a stroll around Waterloo, the sun is shining and not much seems wrong with the world. If I go for it, then maybe I'll be making a bad decision, but I'll only be slightly worse of then I am now (i.e disappointed but still like her). And I can get over that. Maybe it'll be a good decision and everything will have changed, so I think it's probably worth a gamble. I'll see if she wants to meet for a drink.

[Supernick]

And the olive branch is accepted (I'd have been absolutely livid if it hadn't!!) Feels like the right decision, though I suppose time will tell. Now to broach the topic to friends who said I was better off without her!

[ktlou]

I work right near Waterloo, might have seen you this afternoon!!

Totally random point I know but no-one ever normally talks about places I know!