Help!! Update

[caz21]

Morning everyone!

Thanks for all your replys! after i left work last night i thought for a long while about what i would say, i phoned him up and said we werent right for each other, that i thought he was still in love with his ex and he should run off to a desert island with her, (which he guessed what i'd done) then tried to say i was wrong and had i ever thought maybe he didnt want a commited relationship with me...? er no! so he's dumped!

In response to your questions

i checked because i was suspicious and with good reason it seems! i never normally!

and PinkFizz his password is very secret, i'm just a very good PI!!! ;o)

x

[raysparx]

Hi caz

Sorry to hear it has come to this,it is never easy to break up,even when you have been badly let down, I hope you find love and happiness in the future, what am I saying? hope, You will find someone that will give the love and respect you deserve, Take care, Ray xx

[caz21]

Thanks Ray! x

[Pippa68]

Well done caz!

You know in your heart you have done the right thing ~ I am so glad this happened now and not further down the line. It would have been awful to have invested yet more time into the relationship when he doesn't actually want one...

I pity the next one he gets with..they will have to deal with the same thing as he is obviously one big player.

Take care of yourself ~ you will find yourself someone more deserving of you..or rather they will find you :o) xx

[caz21]

Thanks Pippa, I feel better about it already strangely coz deep down i've not felt right for a while!

I've just wasted so much money on our holiday which he'll probably take her on now!

[electricblue]

Let him take her and imagine him running off with the next floozy that come along,how long before we see his ex on here i wonder?????

[Pippa68]

That's just what I was gonna say electricblue!

Although it would be nicer if it happened to him ~ she uses him to go on holiday and then meets up with a hunky waiter :o)

[caz21]

i've been sorely tempted to log on again and email her telling her how many times he cheated on her when he was with her, and see if she still wants to run off with him, but he's probably wised up and changed his password to something like f*** off caroline! lol!

[electricblue]

Nah dont do that caz,it will just make you look scorned,let them both get on with it,and wait for the aftershocks!!

[bluejay]

Caz,
Don't stoop to his level, his loss!! Sure find someone that appreciates you for being you. good luck Jxx

[caz21]

He's changed the password anyway! clever boy!

[atolhurst]

Caz, re your comment about contacting her, to be honest i would do (and did) exactly the same. There was no benefit in it for me but the things to think about are firstly, why should the little creep get off scott free. And secondly, no matter how much we try to deny it, revenge IS sweet!

The thing to emphasise if you are going to do this, is that you have to be quite honest in order to seem sain. I started with

"dear PERSON, I don't know if you know who I am but I am NAME's ex, who I have just dumped having seen his recent correspondences with you. I read his email, which was wrong of my but I had my suspicions which, it turns outwere absolutely spot on. So, I wanted to tell you that he has told me he cheated on you blah blah etc etch"

And ended with "I know you have absolutely no reason to trust what I am telling you and, as you can probably guess, I am telling you this to get back at him because he has been an ar*ehole to me but please remember that I have no intention of going anywhere near the lying sh*t again, so have no interest in trying to split you up (if indeed, you are actually together) - I just wanted to make sure you were aware of, what I am told to be, the facts of the situation and could make as informed a choice as possible".

In my case, she didn't listen to me - he cheated on her 6 months later. Then she left him (and wrote the same emal to the person he was cheating with in her case). And she's now a very good mate of mine.

So it all worked out well in the end!

[caz21]

Thanks Atolhurst,

Thats great and if he hadnt changed his email password i'd have sent that! not sure how to get any contact details for her now though as all i know is her name!

He cheated on her with me as it happens so i guess what goes around comes around and its probably my own fault!!

[caz21]

Would you guess at the email address? [email protected] for example or is that psychoish?

I could put a disclaimer at the bottom apologising if its the wrong person!

[atolhurst]

You could try it, but I don't know. Do you know where she works by any chance - work email accounts are usually quite standard.

[atolhurst]

Why not try and guess the new password?!?!?!

You may feel pysco-ish, but remember he deserves it!!

[caz21]

I've tried a few already but i'm not sure how many attempts you get til it kicks you off!

I've drafted that letter using the email address format above, it could be but if its not i doubt i'd get a response so would never know!

Plus i want my flight money etc back first!!

I have an idea where she works though i could find out for definite and write her instead!?

[atolhurst]

Ring up the co and say that you've got an email to send NAME, but haven't got her address. The receptionist should give it out no probs.

If she doesn't have email, then you could write to her in the post. Although I'd add something to your letter saying that you know that you've gone to a lot of effort to get in touch with her and don't intend to ever contact her again, but you couldn't bear it if she didn't know the truth about him. or something.

[caz21]

I will try Atolhurst but its the NHS so they might not be too willing, plus would it be right ethically to upset someone at work?

[Reenie29]

Don't do it!!

It sounds cheesy but the best form of revenge is to be happy - and I think emailing the 'other woman' will achieve nothing and ultimately make you feel bad. Believe me I know!!

[caz21]

Maybe your right reenie coz i feel terrible today, really down and upset! and its stressing me out even more trying to find her contact details! think i might be best leaving them to it, but i don't want to think of them together!