the old heave-ho

[dilf]

kick has binned me and eloped with a silver tongued romeo [60ish]called billy the gill or something like that. she said i took her for granted, made her feel neglected, tried to provoke me into giving her a clout and she incinerated that i was a bit thick. naturally im devastated and inconsolable

but like a fat cat kicked at the wall i will bounce back, so if any of you lovelies in your smashing blouses fancy breakfast lunch or tea with the man who looks like popeye spilled his spinach in his underwaggers just give me a shout and prepare yourself [not on saturday though]

not you bob so you can take that blouse off

yes rugely you can watch

no im not pish

a "blue steel pan handle" thats correct

[saintjohnny]

Um...this is very pedantic of me, and also a little insensitive, but when you say "incinerated that i was a bit thick" I think you mean "insinuated." the word "Incinerate" means to burn something with a fierce flame. SOrry, had to clear that up.

[~posy-jo~]

morning dilf xXx

[mycats]

Well naturally you are devastated and inconsolable dilf! Who wouldnt be?? But if you are still looking for someone to help you get through this, I'm here for you lol

[kick3m0n]

Hi dilf baby.......maybe we were never a long term prospect sweetie, just a lot of fun while it lasted. Ultimately, I was holding you back I think. You weren't binned, it was more a case of "If you love someone, set them free..." and I'm hoping one day, you'll come back to me. Meanwhile, sew your wild oats, you big stud that you are. If any of the ladies want to check out your references (which will be glowing, obviously) I'll happily oblige. As well as giving them some hints and tips to avoid chaffing.
For the record, it was never going to happen between Gill and I, as I have big issues with fish ;o).
take care darling and if you ever think of me, I hope it's fondly. Every time I look at my scar, or eat some Milk Tray, I'll think of you xxxxxx

[sense4all]

You could paint the dog this afternoon, you know how that always cheers you up!
then perhaps you ought to 'knock up' a few etchings so you can invite us all over to see them later! lol

[kick3m0n]

lmao Sense.."paint the dog"..that story still makes me laugh!! How are you btw? Enjoying the World Cup with the family?? tc x

[The Big Gill]

Hello, dilf.
It was only a lowly piece of doggerel, not an oily piece of mackerel, but I'm sorry for the heartbreak it's caused; I feared you may have considered something desperate, but I'm glad to see you in such good spirits - you are more of a man than I'll ever be.
I hope you enjoy the freedom of the open sea.

If you get no takers, d'you fancy a boys' night out?

Gill

[The Big Gill]

what fissues?

[kick3m0n]

lol @ fissues.....used to be a bit phobic about fish - hated everything about them, look, taste, smell, texture, everything. Got over it to an extent so that I can now prep and cook it for my wee boy, but yeuch...not my thing at all, still makes me feel queasy sometimes.
But I don't mean that in a bad way Gill, it's said with love.... ;o)

[The Big Gill]

...salty tears...

[kick3m0n]

lmao :oD
x

[The Big Gill]

See, dilf? She won't have a little fishy on a little dishy...

[dilf]

can you just step to oneside big un whilst i sneek a peak at the beauty behind you. an effect similar to the apprentice matador confronted by the wily old bull- she gives me the horn [ not that there is anything slightly bovine about you my angel].
ive had your name tattoed on me but it just says ki m at the minute- its only right that you should be the first to reveal its full glory.
then mycats and posy-jo can have a go
afore unruliejulie dressed as a schooly
or sense looking fetching admires my etching

see i can be a poet if thats what you need kick . but you have some grovelling to do first you two timing tart
you smell like captain birdseyes wash basket

is saintjohnny trying to inseminate im a bit thick

[dilf]

no hard feelings gill but im strictly butter side up mate. try rugelyboy he might be up for the boys night out.

[kick3m0n]

don't you worry about stjohn sweetie pie. he'll be here in a minute to tell you what inseminate really means ;o)
can't grovel babes, and can't share you. As a recent poster pointed out, I may be a scottish slapper (SS, my new pseudonym methinks) but I won't share you. Not even with the very, very lovely ladies you mention above. Would love to be there for the big reveal tho........... :o)

[The Big Gill]

Oh, have you learnt nothing, dilf? You were hungry for one, but now you want to fill your freezer.

A day later, and some flowers bought
Whilst filling up. Still,
It's the thought.

[dilf]

i get your point billy the fish

which soon to be dead ABer called you a scottish slapper
my love would you like YOUR dilf to do what he does best them

sorry girls the deals off im afraid somehow in all the confusion ive got some grovelling to do.

[kick3m0n]

when I said I hoped you'd come back some day, I had no idea it would be so soon :o)

no idea who it was dilf baby, some coward using an alias. he also said unkind things about such fine upstanding ABers as Bob, Norm, Zeus, Laurie and toonmilo...can you imagine!???

Now, what sort of grovelling did you have in mind to do sweet cheeks?

[dilf]

kissing your sweet cheeks will do for starters then your lips and after the watershed i'll wear a kilt and we'll stuff a haggis together. hows that for a deal

did i really say id wear a kilt

[sense4all]

Hello chaps, just about survivng the footie Kick! I can see that you have cranked your magnetism up to maximum again.
Dilf - stuffing a haggis should bring a tear to it's eye!
Should this not be in the animal section with Minty's great cat caper? SSPH will be answering their hotline to concerned ABers lol. As for sporting your kilt, which tartan will that be crafted from?Sweet cheeks - If you show me that tatoo that spells W o W In the " moon" light again I will be forced to contact the AB ed , Dot,or the all powerful Oz whoever is avaliable soonest. Much love S. x.