Getting over a long term boyfriend

[cymruambyth1]

Last week I split up with my boyfriend of 4 and a half years, We had been together since we were 17 and had been living together for 3 years. He has now moved out and I am left to fend for myself in the flat. So feeling pretty crap and want to know how people out there dealt with a break up and please tell me WHEN DOES IT GET BETTER!!!!

Cheers

[laurence2]

it depends on WHY you broke up?

[cymruambyth1]

We just grew apart i guess, we were more like best friends rather than a couple and we just thought we should do something about it while we are young. We havent fallen out in the slightest but I am just not looking forward to the part when he gets a new partner!!

[laurence2]

it sounds like you did'nt want to split up.

What was his feeling about it?

you say your not looking forward to him meeting someone else, but you don't mention you meeting someone else{maybe}.

[cymruambyth1]

Well no one wants to split up and we could've stayed together but i think it meant we were both tied down at a young age and we both wanted to experience new things. ie i wanted to move away to further my career he didnt. I cant imagine myself meeting anyone else that i would want to be with. I dont know i guess i dont want to be in another long term relationship until i am ready to settle down.

[China Doll]

I sympathise, went through a nasty break up myself a year ago.

Go out.... You won't feel like it, you'll be constantly feeling like you're putting on an act for the first month but one day something will make you laugh so much you'll realise that you are starting to have a good time again.

Also, it's a complete cliche but it is time. When I broke up with my ex, one of the things I thought was 'this time next year this will not hurt so much.' It's crap but true and it works. Good luck to you xx

[laurence2]

cymruambyth1, you have your whole life ahead of you, i,m sure you must be hurting, but don,t beat yourself up over it, just go out and enjoy life, times a great healer as fender rightly pointed out.

Why do i think you two could get back togeather tho, or am i barking up the wrong tree?

[cymruambyth1]

Well my friends keep saying oh maybe you should get back together, which yes it could happen, but i am sure i would feel the same if i had a friend living with me for 3 years seeing them everyday. I have never lived on my own before and i think its just tough getting use to having to pay all the bills and do things on your own and sleeping on my own. If we did get back together it could mean putting a hold on my career and not experiencing things i should be at the age of 21, you are all really helping though, sometimes it is better to get the opinion from a complete stranger rather than your friends.

[laurence2]

welcome to the real world, bills, mortgage etc.

you will be a stronger person for it

[raysparx]

Hi cymru,

The break will do you both good, if you are meant to be together you will get back together, I really believe, what will be, will be, It hurts like hell and you don't think it will ever get better,but it will in time,

Take care, Pob luc cariad, Ray xx

raysparx siarad y cymraeg dippyn bach

[cymruambyth1]

Lol diolch Ray! I know this will all make me stonger I just wish time would move a bit faster so I can get over it! Cheers for all the help guys!

[raysparx]

Hi cymru, Croeso,

don't wish your life away,it goes to quickly as it is, just wish the pain and hurt away,

Ray xx

[angel-cake]

I know exactly how you are feeling.

My advice is: avoid places he is likely to be (especially if he may be there with new love interest), keep yourself as busy as possible (work became my best friend!), and DO NOT keep reminiscing about the good old days!

Write down reasons that it didnt work out, and when you are feeling tempted to go back, read it again and again.

There is no magic time limit, but each day then each week gets easier and easier.

Don't be against finding yourself a new guy. You don't have to go straight into another serous relationship, just go on fun dates and you never know what will happen!

Good luck. x