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girlygirl | 21:15 Thu 13th Jul 2006 | Body & Soul
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Please make me smile.......
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Man - A Chemical Analysis

Element : Man
Symbol : Ah (short for *******)
Quantitative : Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches.
Discoverer : Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs)
Occurrence : Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen.

Physical properties :
a) Surface often covered with hair; bristly in some areas, soft in others.
b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense, melts if treated like a God.
c) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).
d) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.
e) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo (Snore... zzzzz).
f) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.
g) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.
h) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.
i) Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of the Wo common ore.
j) When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied

say cheeseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Chemical properties :
a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
b) May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable conditions.
c) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.
d) Usually willing to react with whatever is available.
e) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the specimen bright red.)
f) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
g) When saturated with alcohols, will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.
h) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
i) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.
j) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Storage :
a) Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.

Uses :
a) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
b) Can be used in recreational activities.

Tests :
a) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.

Caution :
a) Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very maleable under correct conditions.

Dot,have u been snorting cocaine again
she has turned into the ******* mad scientist !
oh i thought a bit of scientific analysis would look good on my CV, i am applying to CSI las vegas to be a sidekick for that Nick guy, he looks overworked.
dot, give it a rest, short answers please. love ya, an all that :-)
Hey you! ;o)

Smile for me, babe! BB's on soon.

Have you found my email yet?

Mwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwah! ;o) xxx
oh joby I must have missed that in the rules of the site, find it for me please there's a love.
Question Author
Get on MSN then you cool chick you!

Dot thanks for your joke, it made me smile anyway!

:O)

Ta!
Joke? !!!!!!!! 12 years of analytical data and u laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Question Author
I'm sorry, I meant to say thank you for educating me!!!!

lol, :)
pmsl man dot you are funny !!!!
ok i may be slightly ****** but im sure i would have laughed at that anyway lol
drunk *
nob it is a crytical analysis of blokes, who wouldn't bloody laugh!!!!!!!!!!!
dotty...why are you talkin about the Elephant Man in your 2nd line of your 1st post.
why did the fish blush?



because the sea weed.!..iknow.......i know......

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