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Being single at weddings.

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curiouskatie | 11:12 Mon 17th Jul 2006 | Body & Soul
17 Answers
Now the summer wedding season is upon us, anybody got any funny responses to the inevitable questions of "when are you getting married/having babies" from elderly relatives and married couples? (I don't intend to do either!)
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say 'do i ask you when youre getting divorced???'
It's on my 'to do' list... along with poke my eyes out with a blunt nail
you can just say you are not prepared to be an Army wife and so u are waiting until William or Harry have served their term.
"I'm a career woman and modern day feminist. So I guess only when science finds a way for men to give birth."
Tell them your life isn't over yet, and you are too busy having fun!

Alternatively, the 'didn't you know I was gay?' reply may work ;o)
I once answered that question in front of a few relatives. I said, "I've had 5 kids to 3 different men already, but luckily the CSA hasn't caught up with me yet." Only one person got it and laughed. The rest were baffled!
"I'm looking for a man who shares my love of S&M and snuff movies"
lilmonkey... hands off!
I did once say I used to go out with the Groom but I guess I really have to seriously reconsider my options now!
-- answer removed --
Say you are an atheist lesbian .
For any elderly relatives who say "Ooh you'll be next.", store up who they are, and say it to them at the next funeral you go to!!
ROFLMAO @ doglady!!!!
Ask them why they want you to stop enjoying life and be as miserably frustrated as they are?! At which point, sort your cleavage out and make a beeline for one of their 17 year old sons ;o)
look really scared and start twitching then scream "WHY?? WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD? ARE THEY COMING FOR ME ?? THEY PROMISED IT WOULD STOP" (Random enough to make then leave you alone)
or say "Well, it's so hard to find a man who understands that I cant have babies, what with being born a man and all!"

Just tell them that you are a schizophrenic hermaphrodite and that there's only room for hte twelve of you in your relationship!
"I am married, he's over there somewhere. Sorry we didn't invite you but [insert name of relative you want to get in trouble] told me that you were dead"

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Being single at weddings.

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