What the hell can I have done that was so bad?

[teag1rl]

There's this guy, we were getting on really well, but appeard he didn't want girlfriend, so we were just being friends-occassional text chat, chatting when we were out at same place etc. (I really like him tho, but trying to be cool) A wk last sunday I woke up with horrendous hangover and a 'feeling' that I had fallen out with him. Text him to see how he was and apologise if I was a drunken erse, no repsonse, tried ringing, no answer. I knew he was going on holiday that day so I left it. I know he's back now and text last night to say hope he had gd hol, and if we had fallen out could he fill me in on details. No response, and like a tw&t I text him once more before bed and then at 3am when I woke up worrying about it and not able to sleep. I will have to cope with it if he never wants to speak to me again, but it's not fair that I don't know what I could have done because I was so drunk. How can I apologise? PS I have resolved to cut down drinking and stayed in all weekend this last weekend so I've made a start. Any thoughts?

[redcrx]

Have you any idea how you may have upset him?
If he doesnt want to tell you why he isnt speaking to you is he really worth the effort?
is there anyone else who may be able to tell you what you did?

[RATTER15]

Have you tried AA sounds like you have a problem, no wonder he wants nothing to do with you, sorry if im harsh but you did ask.

[teag1rl]

Hi Redcrx.
I was somewhat missing in action, don't even remember talking to him. I could ask his housemate I suppose, but thought that would make me even worse of a stalker!
I don't know what I could have said to him, I did think he'd come across as a bit arrognat a few days earlier when he told me not to worry he'd be back from hols before I knew it, so I may have told him that, but other than that I really cant think. Of course I may have declared my undying love for him-that is a distinct possibility and would have had him running for the hills. I guess you're right with-is he really worth the effort, but it does seem a bit out of character for him. I cant concentrate on anything at the mo. I've been quite lighthearted in my texts, was hoping for some kind of response!

[teag1rl]

Thanks for that ratter-I did say I'd resolved to cut down!! It's only a sat night thing

[redcrx]

Ratter is right but i think said it in the wrong way. Drinking to point of oblivion even if its just one night a week is not a wise thing to do. You dont even remember talking to this bloke, maybe you didnt, maybe you ignored him.
worse still what if you were that drunk that you were all over someone else and your friend didnt want to see you like that?
If i were in your shoes Id try to find out what i did, purely for my own needs to know what the drinking had done.
Please continue to cut down. You dont need the drink to enjoy your life. Cutting down to point of remembering what youve done could also keep you safe.

[teag1rl]

That's right redcrx, I just want to know what I did for my own peace of mind, but he's the only one who can tell me. I am taking the over drinking seriously and I am serious about cutting down and trying to enjoy evening and remember it!

[redcrx]

good for you, you can only do it if you want to and do it for yourself.
Prove to yourself that you can cut down.
Id be pretty miffed if i blew ���s on a night out and couldnt even remember it :-)

[spk]

You maybe didnt say anything that bad really, but maybe he didnt like the way you were when you were drunk. I dont drink a great deal, Im not teetotal or anything but alcohol doesnt really do it for me, so Im sober alot of the time when people around me are drunk, and sometimes people can be total erses and come across alot less desirable to how they are sober. Maybe he wasnt too keen on your p#ssed personality and isnt too fussed about seeing you again. Please dont take any offence, not my intention just giving my point of view x

[teag1rl]

Thanks spk, you could be right. He's a tw&t when he's drunk too, so maybe I will be better off making clean break and deleting him altogether

[spk]

Might not be such a bad idea then, he could at least have the courtesy to text you back no matter what you did. I would be frustrated too, but if he doesnt want to tell you or try sort it out hes definitely not worth it x

[~Wingnut~]

Oh Cripes teag1rl! That is the exact reason I cut down on my drinking and hardly drink when I'm out (or at all to be honest) unless it is just me and hubby. The amount of times I would wake in the morning and that horrible feeling wash over you of having said/done something wrong/stupid but just couldn't remember what.
I would leave it for now with him. Put this down as a lesson to remember next time you go to order another drink.
Don't automatically think that you have done something terrible just because he won't reply to your texts, maybe he got the wrong end of the stick from your first text. You say yourself he doesn't appear to want a Girlfriend, maybe you got too close & this is his way of backing off? (men eh? lol)
If he won't reply leave him to it and you carry on getting on with your own life. If he won't tell you there really is nothing else you can do so just try to forget about it.
Well done for realising you've got a problem and for trying to do something about it, if you start to slip back to old habit's maybe you should think about seeking help.
Good Luck :o)

[teag1rl]

Thanks Wingnut. i gotta stop checking this in work now-fact you all seem to care is making already fragile me cry!! Thanks fro all your responses. Really just wanna be friends with this muppet, but it'll be his loss I guess :o(

[Octavius]

Hang on, am I missing something? You woke up with the 'feeling' that you had done something wrong so therefore you (in your mind) must have and he is an arse for not telling you what? So then you proceed to phone and text at all hours and wonder why he isn't responding....?

I think whatever had happened, even if you had made a fool of yourself or embarassed him, I would also be running for the hills with you chasing after me with your mobile waving in the air. I always try to avoid paranoid women, they are very scarey.

Sorry to be harsh again. But, you did ask.

[teag1rl]

I text him the morning after the night before, left it a week, then text again, and they weren't loony txts, just a friendly how's your hols, did I do anything to pee you off last time I saw you ? admittedly the one at three in am was a bit stupid, but this is really upsetting me and he wouldn't get it til am anyway. Yes. I did ask. I deserve the male abuse! And I don't think he's an arse, maybe I was the drunken fool but I do think I deserve to know what I've done if he's never gonna speak again. Well, I thought so anyway

[teag1rl]

Not that anyone will be on the edge of their seats wondering what went on. Nothing much apparently. He started speaking again at weekend, told me I was just a drunken sex pest that drunken night and it is now forgotten about. He just kept me stewing for a while, but he's bck to his old self now. AND I did another weekend only drinking in moderation and not doing anything daft wahey!!

[lilacben]

I am so glad you are on friendly terms again. And it is really great you are cutting down on drinking Well done!! It must be awful not knowing what you had or had not done after that night but maybe it was a wake up call for you regards drink. He must think a lot of you not to have taken advantage of you that night if as he said you was a "sex Pest". Hope one day he will see you more than a friend. Brenda x