My 1st dance with my ex-wife was to Unchained Melody (original version). It went somethiong like this:
Oh my love
(This would have been after a couple of pints)
My darling
(Couple more(
I�ve hungered for your touch
(Horny now)
A long lonely time
(Well, certainly since opening time)
And time goes by so slowly
(Dragging like a seal's ringpiece now I�ve said my wedding vows)
And time can do so much
(Well, more than you, you lazy cow)
Are you still mine?
(NO, Thank Christ for that)
I need your love
(No I don�t)
I need your love
(Yeah, about as much as a squirrel needs a washing machine)
God speed your love
To me
(Please don�t)
Lonely rivers flow
To the sea
To the sea
(See, had to repeat that bit twice, just in case you didn�t get it the first time, you stupid bint)
To the open arms
Of the sea
(The only arms I want open for you, are a pair of matching Magnum, .44�s.)
(To load them)
Lonely rivers sigh
"wait for me, wait for me"
Again with the repetition, you just never listen.
I�ll be coming home
Wait for me.
(Only if my left testicle was nailed to the kitchen table)
I'm probably going for ''Promised you a miracle' next time
:-)