It's a difficult one steve, trying to move on and up when you have so many memories of the past and how, if things had have been different then maybe now you could be content.
I too try to escape my past and it's got a funny way of showing up when you need it to stay away the most.
On several occasions I've come close to losing what I have now for fear of what could go wrong instead of enjoying what I've got and living for the reality that is and not was.
It's something we've got to train, ok, life was crap for a long time and it's had such an impact on my life that my self confidence hits rock bottom frequently - but only in the eyes of those close to me - to others, I'm on top of the world.
You'll learn to deal with your past, I'm starting to feel a lot more secure in life and although there are still many things I'd like to change, I have to accept that the things I can change I can work towards -even if it takes the rest of my life and the things I can't change then I need to be open and talk about it.