Lonely

[porschebabe]

I would like to chat on the internet, but am unable to join any chatrooms as hubby controls the computer. Is there anyway round this

[rja211077]

there are many possible ways round this. here's some: 1) express your frustration at not having access to the PC to your hubby. suggest a system whereby you book time 2) buy another PC 3) go to the library or internet cafe to do your chatting 4) get a new hubby.

[darth vader]

When you say control do you just mean a) he hogs it and doesn't let you get a go on it, or do you mean b) he controls your use of it? If the first then get a cheap 2nd computer with a network card, network it up to the 1st then you can both surf (you can get a decent complete system off ebay for less than 100 quid these days). If the second then get another husband (dunno if they sell them on ebay though)

[Moog]

Depending on which version of windows you're running you can set up separate password protected profiles for separate users, this means that if you download chat software onto your profile other users don't have access to it unless they have your password

[porschebabe]

He just doesn't want me to chat. He is away alot, so I can get on the computer. But he knows what I do. We only have the one password. I tried joining these girlie forums but they are so disjointed. I have a secret Hotmail account. Just need to find some 'friends'

[gilf]

Ditch the bloke. I look at all sorts of naught stuff on our PC and my wife knows nothing. If you need tips on how to hide your steps lets us know.

[porschebabe]

I can't start hiding things, he is bound to find them. But thanks anyway

[Moog]

When he goes away install Yahoo messenger, uninstall it before he returns and delete all cookies and temporary internet files... alternatively pop out to an internet cafe or your local library where you can chat away...

[porschebabe]

I think I will just have to remain Lonely but lovely Hehe Thanks for all your suggestions.

[Miss Zippy]

Hi Porschebabe. Perhaps I'm reading too much into your words, but is your husband controlling in other ways? What does he/would he do if he found out you're chatting on the net? Does he mind you having 'real' friends?

[porschebabe]

We don't have any problems. Its just he works away alot. I get a bit lonely. No children, all friends married off with kids. God, that makes me sound like Billy no mates. I think he just dos not like the idea of me chatting to unknowns!!

[beenee]

Well you're more than welcome here porschebabe! Keep dropping by to share views, opinions and knowledge. You'll feel part of it very soon!

[woodpam]

I sympathise Porschebabe, as I am divorced with mostly married friends and had to work at it to get my social life going again. If you are allowed to use the internet at work perhaps you could get an e-mail pen friend and message each other in your lunch hours. It would be wise to set up a hotmail address which doesn't reveal any personal information in your username.If your IT department are nosey types I can recommend entitling your messages to sound work related e.g. "Accounts spreadsheet".

[honkytonkman]

Crikey, he sounds a real meanie... Although I admit, it's none of my business, he shouldn't really control what you use the computer for. You're a paid-up member of adult human society and are entitled to surf the Net or visit chatrooms if you wish. He needs to be more trusting. How dare he think he's more responsible in his computer time, than you would be? Sorry porschebabe but I'm seething....grrrr....... ;)

[ANUSHIKA]

There's a few things you can do (1)Tell him that you want a minute by minute account of what he does when he is away, and ask him how hw likes it? (2) Tell him to get a new job and spend more time with you (3) stand your ground tell him to get a grip and grow up or (4) compromise tell him to set you up in your own passwords then maybe you and your hubby could chat in a chat room when he is away.

[5029]

Think i suggested this before, but go to the chat on asos.com, it is friendly, not at all disjointed, if he asks what you were doing on the site, say you were looking for clothes.

[porschebabe]

Thanks for all your replies, made me feel alot better. I shall try the ASOS suggestion. Thanks

[KARL]

Jeez, what a predicament you are in. In the last 12 years of our married life I have been away for periods up to six months at a time, some eight years or more in total absence. My wife has complete access to everything, and actually operates all (I think I am correct in saying) of my purely personal affairs with me when I am away. We are happily married (again: I think - I certainly am) and, frankly, it has never occurred to me to tell her what she can or cannot do. If she wants to leave me there is nothing I can do to stop her, after all. I second the suggestion(s) that you discuss this with him. Perhaps all he needs is a reassurance that you are sensible and not likely to fall for some virtual dude whom you then arrange to meet on a country lane only to discover he is a terrifyingly real monster. I wish both of you (hubby and you, not the nightmare and you) well.

[Miss Zippy]

I know this is cheesy advice, but why not join some kind of local club or class, like art/dance (salsa is good fun), keep fit, whatever takes your fancy. This is a great way to meet people and it's then up to you to make the effort to get to know these people better. Is there a good 'social scene'/ social club where you work that you could get involved in, if you're not already? Many people get stuck in a social rut at some time another, you just need to give yours a kick start. Don't forget to make the effort with your current friends too. I'm sure they would love a break from their children, so suggest going out for a meal or to the cinema, even if they can only do it once a fortnight or so.

[ninalondon]

It's a bit odd that you are on here chatting to people but you feel you can't join a chat room?