News8 mins ago
Advice please
22 Answers
I'm very overweight and I know it and I hate it but I have absolutely no motivation to do anything about it. I know I'm capable of doing it as I have before - I lost 2.5 stone on weight watchers last year but have put it all and more back on. I think I've been overweight for so long I can't imagine not being.
What I need is advice on how to motivate myself and also whether people think seeing a shrink might help. My reason for this is that I know a lot of it stems from childhood, i was forced on to the "school diet" when I was 14, my parents were always telling me I shouldn't eat so much etc etc. I was always the chubby one. I used to hide chocolate under my bed and I still hideaway what I eat even at the age of 30. I still get nagged by my parents about it (I know its only because they are worried about me but it doesn't help!!).
Does any one have any advice or any experience of feeling like this and getting over it?
What I need is advice on how to motivate myself and also whether people think seeing a shrink might help. My reason for this is that I know a lot of it stems from childhood, i was forced on to the "school diet" when I was 14, my parents were always telling me I shouldn't eat so much etc etc. I was always the chubby one. I used to hide chocolate under my bed and I still hideaway what I eat even at the age of 30. I still get nagged by my parents about it (I know its only because they are worried about me but it doesn't help!!).
Does any one have any advice or any experience of feeling like this and getting over it?
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I have the same problem. I have lost 3st 3lb with weight watchers but the last 6 weeks or so I have let it slip. I think I have put on about 5lbs in the last two weeks, I will find out tonight! All I can say is that I know how you feel and I am determined that even though I am having a blip I am going to get back on it. My friend has lost 6 stones and even she has periods where she falls back, we are only human. What i found did help was to set myself a physical challenge, that I knew I needed to loose weight to acheive this really worked and I was very proud of myself for completing my challenge. Please don't give up on yourself, if you really want to lose the weight you can do, but it is your choice. You need to make the decision as to if this is something that is important to you or if you are happy as you are. It won't change the perosn inside, although I must admit I have a new found confidence at them moment so if you do lose the weight it can only make you feel better. Anyway Good Luck whatever you decide.
The point is you are not 14 you are 30, so stop making excuses and start acting like an adult. You know you can lose weight. You want to lose weight so go back to weight watchers or another slimming group. Sorry to sound harsh, but I do know what it is like to be overweight, I have been there and although dieting is not easy, you will feel so proud of yourself when you reach your goal.
This is always hard, especially if you have been on diets and stuff before and if you feel people are going on at you about what you eat.
You have to find what works for you. I have found over the years that fad diets (in this I actually include weight watchers) don't help. You have to just eat healthily or at least sensilbly, and do more exercise even if that means taking yourself out for a short walk every evening. The harder you find it to do the less likely you are to keep it up.
I also find that weighing myself all the time doesn't help, I haven't weighed myself in about a year.. I go by the way my clothes fit, after all if you do build up muscle this weighs more than fat and so weighing yourself really doesn't tell you anything much. If my clothes get a little looser I feel great and get more motivated. If they start to get tighter then I know I need to do something about it.
In the end nobody can motivate you but you. I really think though that you need to talk to your parents about nagging you. Tell them that it doesn't help, even though you know they do it with the best intentions. If them nagging you makes you hide food and feel bad about yourself then tell them so. They probably only do it because they don't know any other way to help, so you need to let them know.
Good luck... you can do it : )
You have to find what works for you. I have found over the years that fad diets (in this I actually include weight watchers) don't help. You have to just eat healthily or at least sensilbly, and do more exercise even if that means taking yourself out for a short walk every evening. The harder you find it to do the less likely you are to keep it up.
I also find that weighing myself all the time doesn't help, I haven't weighed myself in about a year.. I go by the way my clothes fit, after all if you do build up muscle this weighs more than fat and so weighing yourself really doesn't tell you anything much. If my clothes get a little looser I feel great and get more motivated. If they start to get tighter then I know I need to do something about it.
In the end nobody can motivate you but you. I really think though that you need to talk to your parents about nagging you. Tell them that it doesn't help, even though you know they do it with the best intentions. If them nagging you makes you hide food and feel bad about yourself then tell them so. They probably only do it because they don't know any other way to help, so you need to let them know.
Good luck... you can do it : )
I'm with Orange Gnome. It doesn't matter if you slip up, so long as you get back on track again. iI find slimming groups just make you feel guilty and you end up even less motivated. Rather than sit in that rather sad group therapy for an hour each week use that time to get active and make getting active part of your lifestyle along with the healthy eating. You know what you have to do. You don't have to pay and be preached to but I pompous fat club organiser to do it.
I really wish you the best of luck. You know you can do it!!
I really wish you the best of luck. You know you can do it!!
If you are prepared to do a little bit of exercise and give up some of the crappy foods, then you might want to think about taking Clenbuterol as I've heard quite good things about it.
It's not a steroid but works in a similar sort of way and is proven to help with weight loss for a limited period of time (3 weeks ish). The idea is you take it for about 3 weeks. then have 3 weeks off from it. then take it for another 3 weeks and so on. Although you can't take it forever as the body gorws accustomed to it, it might get things started and give you the motivation to carry on.
The bottom line is that nothing will do the weight loss for you but Clenbuterol speeds up the fat burning process which should help you get better results, quicker.
The problem I have always had is that I would be much more motivated with the whole exercise thing if I could see my hard work paying off. After a while I tend to lose interest.
Of course, taking anything has it's risks so I would speak to a doctor about it before taking any (especially if you have other conditions). Perhaps look it up in google and see what you think.
It's not a steroid but works in a similar sort of way and is proven to help with weight loss for a limited period of time (3 weeks ish). The idea is you take it for about 3 weeks. then have 3 weeks off from it. then take it for another 3 weeks and so on. Although you can't take it forever as the body gorws accustomed to it, it might get things started and give you the motivation to carry on.
The bottom line is that nothing will do the weight loss for you but Clenbuterol speeds up the fat burning process which should help you get better results, quicker.
The problem I have always had is that I would be much more motivated with the whole exercise thing if I could see my hard work paying off. After a while I tend to lose interest.
Of course, taking anything has it's risks so I would speak to a doctor about it before taking any (especially if you have other conditions). Perhaps look it up in google and see what you think.
The thing is with dieting you have got to be in the right frame of mind, I don't think a 'shrink' would help with you losing weight but maybe if you have underlying problems you need to sort out you could ask your doctor to refer you but one thing at a time.
I've lost 3 stone due to hard work and positive thinking, I now feel great and healthy, it has been hard but losing the weight has made me enjoy keeping fit and going to the gym.
I've lost 3 stone due to hard work and positive thinking, I now feel great and healthy, it has been hard but losing the weight has made me enjoy keeping fit and going to the gym.
precisely teag1rl! I am also of the opinion that these groups get you a tad obsessive about what you put in your mouth...weighing out portions and such which is just silly.. it takes too much effort and time and on a bad day you just want to have dinner not spend half an hour measuring things out and checking the booklet before you even start. T Even if you go for the weight watchers microwave meals (which aren't nearly as good for you as good old fresh veggies!) you still find yourself thoroughly checking calorie/ fat content.
Try to cut down.. not cut out at first your junk food intake... I have always been a bit of a chocoholic and I had to cut down my amount. I swapped my chocolate snacks for a piece of fruit..... hard at first but once you get into the habit its not so bad. It doesn't have to be fruit, it could be a small amount of cereal ... or anything that you like but is more healthy than choccy. I save chocolate for when I really HAVE to have it but I certainly don't deny myself completely.
Baby steps....
Try to cut down.. not cut out at first your junk food intake... I have always been a bit of a chocoholic and I had to cut down my amount. I swapped my chocolate snacks for a piece of fruit..... hard at first but once you get into the habit its not so bad. It doesn't have to be fruit, it could be a small amount of cereal ... or anything that you like but is more healthy than choccy. I save chocolate for when I really HAVE to have it but I certainly don't deny myself completely.
Baby steps....
ooh, yeah and they try to ram 'diet' this and 'diet' that down your neck Proper foods are so much better. Canderal, diet drinks and even diet tonic ect all full of aspartame which is linked with cancer. Low fat spreads aint to clever either. Do without the spread altogether and for a treat have butter once in a while instead. When I was going to a club and being brainwahsed I put canderel on my porridge but honey is nicer and sooooo much better for you!!
Eat proper healthy food and exercise and you cant go wrong.
Eat proper healthy food and exercise and you cant go wrong.
I was overweight due to a medical condition ...my GP made me an appointment with the nurse practioner at my sugery.
She gave me all sorts of help and advice and a weigh in every fortnight.I have now lost three stone.I found this much easier to do on a one to one basis with her than one of these slimming groups ..weight watchers for example.They are just promoting their own products really and I refuse to pay four quid just to be told I have lost a pound this week in front of a room full of other people.
Go and see your GP ..most surgeries have weight loss clinics these days.You will get the best professional help there.
You can do it because you will know that you cannot let down the person who is motivating you.
That was my way of looking at it. Good luck.
She gave me all sorts of help and advice and a weigh in every fortnight.I have now lost three stone.I found this much easier to do on a one to one basis with her than one of these slimming groups ..weight watchers for example.They are just promoting their own products really and I refuse to pay four quid just to be told I have lost a pound this week in front of a room full of other people.
Go and see your GP ..most surgeries have weight loss clinics these days.You will get the best professional help there.
You can do it because you will know that you cannot let down the person who is motivating you.
That was my way of looking at it. Good luck.
Slimming World does not work for everyone, but, I will share my experience with you! I joined five years ago to lose a little weight for my wedding and took my sister along with me who at the time was five stones over weight. Five years on I am still at target weight and my sister is a very succesful Slimming World consultant who loves her job with a passion. She has helped many, many people lose weight just by understanding and supporting her members at every given opportunity. She has members as young as 17 and as 'young'!! as 76! Slimming World also has been put forward by the government as one of the best plans around. She has members that have a wide range of health problems too, with losing weight some of these members have been able to come off medication for example high blood pressure tablets etc.. Like I say its not for everyone and it is far from a diet, that is why it is called 'food optimisation'. I love it and it is the way we live now, obviously we still have our treats and you still get to eat potatoes and pasta and all the things that some 'diets say you cannot have! There is nothing that you cannot have at Slimming World, you follow a plan of 'original days' or 'green days' . I love it you should go to www.slimmingworld.co.uk good luck with what ever you decide to do. And remember you can do it.
Thank you all for your words of support, advice and ideas. I really am going to try and do it. I've just phoned the local council leisure centre to enquire about membership and I plan to go down there at the weekend to have a look at the gym and the pool etc.
You're all very sweet and I know where to come to if I need a kick up the butt!! :-)
You're all very sweet and I know where to come to if I need a kick up the butt!! :-)
There is so much pressure on us all to be slim nowadays. If we are not all size 8 or less we are made to feel like failures. The mags are full of weight issues, celebs overweight, celebs underweight, the more they keep banging on about it, the more it becomes an issues for us all. No wonder we are all obsessed with it! Even when they do the fashion pages featuring clothes, they show superslim models, never do they use a normal size model. When they use larger models, they feature it as an 'outsize special' which effectively brings it to our attention that 'larger sizes' are somehow different. Until they start to use 'larger sizes' as regular models, mixed in with the slimmer models, we will never see a larger size as normal. Thus we will all continue to be spoon fed by the mags that size 8 is 'normal' and we all will continue to have hang ups and issues with our weight. Thtat is what I believe anyway!
I am about a stone heavier than I want to be, I am 5'6 and 11.2 stone. Although I believe that I am still in the range to be not considered overweight, I would like to be 10 stone and then I will fit in more with what appears to be the accepted norm and how crazy is that?
Cheers Sue
I am about a stone heavier than I want to be, I am 5'6 and 11.2 stone. Although I believe that I am still in the range to be not considered overweight, I would like to be 10 stone and then I will fit in more with what appears to be the accepted norm and how crazy is that?
Cheers Sue
annavc - If you want to lose weight you can - Everyone on here is probably sick of me spouting on about healthy eating plans and avoiding pills and fad diets and yes I do include weightwatchers and slimming world in that description. There is another way and it is a sensible healthy eating plan that you can use for life, it will make you feel great and provide you with optimum health too. I know it works because I am training to be a Nutritional Therapist and myself and my husband have lived by what I have been taught, I lost a stone and he lost two - in a few weeks. If you want the details and some suggestions email me on
[email protected]
Lots of love - Amara xx
[email protected]
Lots of love - Amara xx
annavc, im slimming at the moment except i prefer to refer to it as eating more healthily than i was.
I have had trouble getting motivated to start. May was when i originally said i was going to do it. I started 4 weeks ago!!. I dont have masses to lose but a couple of stone would be good.
i had got into very bad habits, wanting food even though i wasn't remotely hungry and eating too much chocolate anmd big dinners later on at night.
If i hadn't have started when i did, i would have just kept on getting bigger and i didnt like myself at that size very much.
I found that as soon as i started to cut down and eat properly, veggies, salad, meat and loads of fish, that my confidence grew almost immediately, just knowing that i was finally doing something about something that was making me unhappy was the boost i needed to keep it up.
You really have to want this though and assuming, by this post, you do! I havent used scales this time as i get too obsessive with pounds and ounces! It is working better for me this way because i dont get demotivated every time the scales dont tell me what i want. Chuck em out is my advice. You will notice any loss in the clothes you wear. I got into my swimsuit yesterday morning that had been way too tight a month ago.It was a great feeling!
Make sure you eat a good breakfast, before 10.am and never eat after 8pm! Other than that, i wish you all the luck in the world, im right with you X
I have had trouble getting motivated to start. May was when i originally said i was going to do it. I started 4 weeks ago!!. I dont have masses to lose but a couple of stone would be good.
i had got into very bad habits, wanting food even though i wasn't remotely hungry and eating too much chocolate anmd big dinners later on at night.
If i hadn't have started when i did, i would have just kept on getting bigger and i didnt like myself at that size very much.
I found that as soon as i started to cut down and eat properly, veggies, salad, meat and loads of fish, that my confidence grew almost immediately, just knowing that i was finally doing something about something that was making me unhappy was the boost i needed to keep it up.
You really have to want this though and assuming, by this post, you do! I havent used scales this time as i get too obsessive with pounds and ounces! It is working better for me this way because i dont get demotivated every time the scales dont tell me what i want. Chuck em out is my advice. You will notice any loss in the clothes you wear. I got into my swimsuit yesterday morning that had been way too tight a month ago.It was a great feeling!
Make sure you eat a good breakfast, before 10.am and never eat after 8pm! Other than that, i wish you all the luck in the world, im right with you X
this is what I did...take a picture of yourself in you bra and pants , stick one on your fridge, one inside your fridge, some on your cupboards, some inside your cupboards, and most importantly one in your purse so when you are tempted to go buy all the forbiden foods , you get a sharp remiinder..... also set small and reasonable monthly targets, reward yourself with treats which are non food related so as you don't associate food with rewards, some ideas are, a new haircut, manicure, new lipstick, get your eyebrows done, new handbag, new shoes, new perfume, a silk scarf, jewellry and as the weight drops off, new clothes....
...most importantly don't loose weight because your parents or other people are telling you to, do it for yourself!... and if you do have a bad day and binge on the naughty foods, don't despair and say "oh well, I've blown it now, I might as well carry on scoffinig tomorrow"...just accept you had one of those days, and go back to being an angel for the rest of the week...after all a little bit of what you fancy does you good, you are not on a diet , you are re-adjusting your eating habbits of a lifetime....
...I hated the idea of exercising in public, so I bought an exercise bike, and instead of sitting watching my soaps on the sofa, I'd sit on the bike and watch my soaps (1.5 hrs a night!!)...the weight will drop off quicker, your fitness will improve , so I didnt feel so selfconcious about joining the gym when I felt the time was right....the staff in your local gym will be fantastic, so dont worry , they will probably have ladies only night if you still feel slightly selfconcious.....
...goodluck, and if you are struggling, just pop on here , I'm sure there will be loads of Abers who will help you if your having a bad day....
...most importantly don't loose weight because your parents or other people are telling you to, do it for yourself!... and if you do have a bad day and binge on the naughty foods, don't despair and say "oh well, I've blown it now, I might as well carry on scoffinig tomorrow"...just accept you had one of those days, and go back to being an angel for the rest of the week...after all a little bit of what you fancy does you good, you are not on a diet , you are re-adjusting your eating habbits of a lifetime....
...I hated the idea of exercising in public, so I bought an exercise bike, and instead of sitting watching my soaps on the sofa, I'd sit on the bike and watch my soaps (1.5 hrs a night!!)...the weight will drop off quicker, your fitness will improve , so I didnt feel so selfconcious about joining the gym when I felt the time was right....the staff in your local gym will be fantastic, so dont worry , they will probably have ladies only night if you still feel slightly selfconcious.....
...goodluck, and if you are struggling, just pop on here , I'm sure there will be loads of Abers who will help you if your having a bad day....
hi annavc
look at the positive...you know you can lose weight, as you did it last year, so that's good.
To break it down in it's simplest form, you need to use more energy and eat less. then you'll lose the weight.
But it's not as easy at that. many people have a twisted relationship with food. I would recomend reading 'Fat is a Feminist Issue'. Don't be put off by the title...it offers some interesting ideas on why people subconsciously sabotage their diets, and offers ways of challenging your negative thinking.
Lighter Life is an very low calorie diet specifically designed for people who are obese (i'm not suggesting that you are), and part of their course is that they have councillors to work thru your relationship with food and how to break bad habits. It is expensive at around 60-70 pounds a week, but if you read their magazine, it might give you some ideas on how you may be able to help yourself.
it's the easiest thing in the world for people to say 'pull yourself together' and 'get out there and do something' but it's not always that easy. What you need is some gentle support (not nagging).
Go see your GP, and discuss the matter. Maybe ask if you can be refered to a nutritionist who will be able to offer help and guidance. and ask about seeing a councillor/therapist of some kind, your doctor may know of a group that can help.
I wish you the best of luck annavc. let us know how you do.
look at the positive...you know you can lose weight, as you did it last year, so that's good.
To break it down in it's simplest form, you need to use more energy and eat less. then you'll lose the weight.
But it's not as easy at that. many people have a twisted relationship with food. I would recomend reading 'Fat is a Feminist Issue'. Don't be put off by the title...it offers some interesting ideas on why people subconsciously sabotage their diets, and offers ways of challenging your negative thinking.
Lighter Life is an very low calorie diet specifically designed for people who are obese (i'm not suggesting that you are), and part of their course is that they have councillors to work thru your relationship with food and how to break bad habits. It is expensive at around 60-70 pounds a week, but if you read their magazine, it might give you some ideas on how you may be able to help yourself.
it's the easiest thing in the world for people to say 'pull yourself together' and 'get out there and do something' but it's not always that easy. What you need is some gentle support (not nagging).
Go see your GP, and discuss the matter. Maybe ask if you can be refered to a nutritionist who will be able to offer help and guidance. and ask about seeing a councillor/therapist of some kind, your doctor may know of a group that can help.
I wish you the best of luck annavc. let us know how you do.
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