Ear piercing

[4getmenot]

Ok after posting on another thread. Who agrees that a child or baby should have their ears pierced. Has anyone got young children with piercings?

[4getmenot]

but missjef you surely got yours done when you were old enough to decide. And Rom i did wonder 8 children!! lol

[noxlumos]

My children have the following piercings done at the following ages
Harry ear 20
Danny, ear 18
Rychard none
Aiden none
Joe ear 14
Luc none
Matthew ear 7
Shari ears 6
Ciaran ear 4
Rivka none

I wouldn't have a baby pierced in any way as they cannot consent and the kids have all decided for themselves that they wanted their ears pierced and I would never have a child pierced if they had not asked for it.You might notice that the older kids had their ears pierced quite late and the younger one earlier as a result of admiring the older ones earrings, which I think is fair enough as I personally DO believe that quite young kids should have control over what happens to them and are capable of understanding the principles of piercing. It's not exactly rocket science and is grasped very well by a 4 year old. If they change their mind later the holes simply heal up so no harm done. I do quite resent the implication from some people that if you treat your child with respect and allow it autonomy over it's own body that you are in some way deficient as a parent. I take parenting of my children very seriously and would never allow anyone or anything to harm them, however if they choose to have a piercing then that is fine by me as it's equally fine if they choose not to.

[4getmenot]

can I ask do you really have 10 children or are they step brothers/sisters or half

[laurence2]

Absolutely ''NO''

How can a baby who's 3/4 years of age make a concious decision to have a piercing, yes their still babys at that age.
its down to the irresponsible parents who believe it is fashionable to dress their children up chav style, it looks ridiculous on adults let alone children, the parents & their children remind me of Gypsies/ Jeremy Kyle guess

[noxlumos]

Harry is my wife's son from a previous realtionship, Shari and Rivka are our own two children together, the rest of the lads are from my first marriage with the exception of Ciaran who is the son of a previous girlfriend and not biologically my wife's or mine ( his mum is dead). All a bit complicated but essentially the word step, half, foster etc is never heard in our house they are all just our children, and I will beg to differ that a 4 year old cannot make a sensible and conscious decision about themselves, because they certainly can and do, but then we bring our children up to be very self determining from a very early age, so maybe Laurence2 hasn't come across this idea before.My kids also don't dress like Chavs Laurence, they dress however pleases THEM ( none of them like the Chav look) and are responsible for choosing their own clothes and shoes from around 4 years old from a set allowance they get for clothing etc, with our assistance. It makes kids very much more responsible, calmer, and more understanding of the world if they are given responsibility for themselves at a young age. They play like other kids but they grasp the meaning of money and work far more easily than some of their friends do because they have an earlier experience of it and their behaviour is never extreme because we have no rules in our house except "treat people the way you would wish to be treated" and "use your common sense".
As such I believe that my four year old was perfectly well equipped to make the choice to have his ear pierced after he had been given all of the information, which he did and i really won't lose sleep over it.

[4getmenot]

that is so nice that those words dont exist in your home and you love them all the same :-)

[wilson83]

I am with the majority. It looks nasty and cheap on kids, especially babies. Sorry!

[laurence2]

noxlumos, your view/my view, your right/i'm right, you choose how to bring your kids up, but i got to say, if your telling me a 4 year old can make a concious decision to have a piercing, you are SADLY wrong, he might well see brothers and sisters wearing them and FOLLOW THE LEADER, you know my dad supports this team so i am etc, but to say he's old enough to say i want a piercing is ridiculous, if he says next he wants a tattoo will this be exceptable then, surely YES ?

[noxlumos]

Laurence2 I would not dream of telling you how to bring up your kids or that you were wrong about something you knew about one of your children so please don't insult my intelligence or the right of my child to have his ear pierced if he so wishes. My four year old is perfectly capable of deciding if he wishes to have his ear pierced, I don't understand how you can think a child of four is so thick that they cannot be self determining about such things, it's a very simple choice. As for tattoos , your argument holds no water whatsoever as there are very good reasons people who are not fully grown cannot have tattoos and there is also legislation in place to prevent it.
I don't personally care if you don't like piercings on children, but I DO care that see fit to disagree about the ability of my child ( a child you do not know) to choose. If I believed for one moment that it was simply follow the leader, then I would ask him to re-examine his motives for wanting it done.Also as a point of interest if I had
a four year old unable to make such a simple determination as to if they wanted their ears pierced or not
then I'd consider that I had been deficient in my rearing of them, but then I think my children and yours would not be very alike, just as we are not alike as individuals Laurence2. No-one is right or wrong on this, it's a matter of personal choice, I'm just sorry you can't respect the fact that my child is quite capable of making that choice.

[WendyS]

Sorry but I think no small child or baby should have their ears pierced. Quite apart from the fact that it's unnecessary mutilation and exposes the child to unnecessary infection, I think it looks horribly common. (Call me a snob if you like !). Children this age shouldn't even be thinking that jewellery of any kind is important.

The time for such a decision is when the child becomes a young adult and is capable of making that decision for herself.

[joko]

just out of interest, how many women her DO NOT have pierced ears?

i don't know a single female who doesn't and i have never met one.

[laurence2]

noxlumos, it would seem most AB,s disagree with the piercings at such a young age, but you choose to have ago at me, i did,nt insult your 4 year old, i said a baby of of 3/4 cannot make a concious decision on a piercing, you say that you would tell your child {4} to re-examine his motives for wanting it done, are you for real, wake up and don't criticise me, i answered to 4getmenots post like everyone else, with my OPINION, but you see fit to pull me up on what i have said, you even said on your last posting that no-one is right or wrong here, really? it seems the majority are right on this thread, you CANNOT seem to grasp that, you take it as me and maybe others having ago at you & your children, what you and your children do is of no ones business, but that also applys to what i say, you,ve said your piece and so have i, so i believe its BEST if we leave it alone now.

[noxlumos]

The only thing we are disagreeing on Laurence2 is the AGE at which a child should be able to decide something and the manner in which to treat a child of that age. The piercing issue is niether here nor there, that isn't what I am annoyed about because anyone and everyone is entitled to their own opinion on it.The reason I disagreed with you is
that you appear to think it's ok to denigrate people's opinions on their child's ability to decide something so simple about itself.That's all. You said kids of 3 or 4 are babies. I've never heard such ill informed guff in all my life. Kids are far more able than 90% of people realise and can achieve some very advanced thinking at that age if given the chance. Sadly you don't seem to grasp that, so that's your loss, but don't try to ridicule those of us that do and put a lot of effort into their parenting technique and yeah, I am for real asking a 4 year old to re-examine his motives for doing something. It's called teaching self -determination which produces kids who are calm, sensible and capable of functioning in the real world without falling victim to the herd mentality and who are secure in their own personalities. I treat my children with respect from the word go and they repay me the same way and have never let me down, it's as simple as that.

[Goodsoulette]

At 4 i was old enough to make that decision myself, I remember it very clearly.

[mimififi]

I would just like to say, that I think a child of 4 is far more savy than you think, laurence.

I have 5 children. My first daughter had her ears pierced when she was about 8 1/2 and decided that she wanted them done. So we went to the place and had it done. My son has no piercings and my next daughter, who is 4 wanted her ears pierced this year. I told her that once she could read peter and jane 1a, she could have her ears pierced as a prize for all her hard reading work.

So, she now reads, we went to the store and we waiting in a very long queue at the beginning of the summer hols. She does lots of ballet so can only have them done at this time to allow them time to heal before she has to take them out again for ballet in september. While standing in the queue, she witnessed other girls have theirs done and she turned to me and said, "Actually mummy, I've changed my mind, I don't want that done to me after all. " at which point i said, "ok, no probs, what ever you like." We went over to Claires and she had something different, a fluffy caculator or other some such inappropriate stationery. The point is, altough she didn't go through with it , it was her choice and her choice alone to make. I was but the cash, nothing more, nothing less.

So, if Nox says his 4 year old made up her own mind, i believe him. Our children will never learn to make decisions and be respectful if they are never asked questions or respected.

[laurence2]

your still not following are you, 4 year olds should'nt be wearing piercings PERIOD, if its encouraged what seems quite OBVIOUS with some of you, of course it will happen, the question is not if a 4 year old can ask for a piercing, its SHOULD a 4 year old have a piercing, which some of you have no issue with, i did'nt realise that some of you had MASTERMIND wannabee children, i appreciate that 4 year olds can talk, ask, they please & thankyou & think for themselves, but when will PARENTS sit children down and say if you still want to go ahead with your piercing once your say 11 for arguments sake well thats fine, as for happyness, you give me the impression that you BUY happyness for your children, maybe i must think different, i have two boys 13 & 10 and they have countless cousins upto 16 years of age, only 1 girl {whos 16 wheres earings} the other 10 of them have no interest {no influence by their parents by the way} so you tell me the diffrence then, tell you what i,ll tell you, its people like you that ENCOURAGE it, its nothing to do with the child making the decision, its all ABOUT YOU

[carrust]

Let's go the whole-hog. Hows about a range of tattos for kids ! Why not have a range of make-up or hair dye. Stilletto heeled shoes at Clarke's. My mind is well & troly boggled !

[noxlumos]

Laurence, I now see the problem very clearly, it's that we disagree with you.
Nothing any of us can or want to do about that, I happen to think you are disasterously wrong, but then we have little in common on any topic I've ever encountered you on, so perhaps that's to be expected.
As for the IQ's of our kids, you imply that having intelligent , articulate kids is a bad thing.
As my eight year old daughter said when she read your last reply "Oh dear, oh dear..."

Carrust, aren't you the one still trying to control your twenty-something son with threats of kicking him out because he wants a tattoo? I think you are, so enough said eh?

[4getmenot]

I think a 4 year old can make a decision, but I agree with laurence its more a short term thing like can I have a barbie because everyone is getting one. If my 4 year old asked me I wouldnt let them and surely there are legal age limits for a reason. You are right no-one can say they are right or wrong but to me it is a case of follow the leader and theres is too much of that about today with much worse things than ear piercing.

[4getmenot]

and joko my little sister does not have her ears pierced :-) and she's 24.