Would you do it with a friend? (part one)

[Postdog]

OK, this is the situation. I have a female friend (I'm male), who I consider my best friend and I am very close to her. We've known each other for about 10 years now, but there is something missing that prevents me from ever having wanted her as something more (and vice versa). She actually got married a few years ago, though, I think (as do her other friends) this was because she didn't want to be alone. We also think she could have done a lot better.

Now before marriage and since, we go to places together, and though not sexual, we can be really intimate with each other - there's a sort of bond and mutual respect that goes beyond just friends. We also have the odd little goodnight snog. She reckons I am a great kisser (her words) and she doesn't get kisses like mine from hubby. In fact, she's not happy with hubby for lots of reasons but NOR is she unhappy. They are actually away on holiday at the moment.

So anyway a few weeks ago after a night out, we had the usual goodnight snog, only it lasted a bit longer. Then last week, when we went out again, and the snog was even longer, but this time with wandering hands if you get my drift.

[Taz70]

I wouldn't go there if I were you. First off, she's married. Secondly, you've been friends for 10 years. If you felt a real attraction to eachother you probably would have got together years ago.

Perhaps she feels stuck in a rut and is enjoying some other male attention from somebody other than her husband. You don't say if you're in a relationship? Perhaps you're both lonely and so things are going further than they should.

I think it would be a big mistake to risk a great friendship, but that's just my opinion. But then, can you go back to being just friends after all the snogging etc. Have you asked her outright what she wants and exactly what feelings she has for you?

Perhaps you should leave her for a while to work out what she wants. Just cool things for a bit, so that you can examine your feelings also.

Good luck with whatever happens!

[Taz70]

And exactly what is your problem? I suppose you're a dog that shags everything in a skirt?

[Taz70]

Just to let you know, there's nothing silly about my imagination and if you aren't going to actually respond to questions sensibly, then don't bother. I was under the understanding that we are here to help give advice to people who want it, not to criticise somebody who is trying to help. I love you too 10ClarionSt

[China Doll]

Hi Postdog,

Now you know what I've said before on a previous thread about making sure everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet and as long as it's between consenting adults etc... Well, my opinion would be that I'm not sure that you both are singing from the same sheet, you don't actually say what you feel for her but if she's unhappy with her marriage then she may be looking for an escape, this could lead to a monumental amount of confusion if you're happy to just have a friendship that occasionally involves sex so personally I'd steer clear.

That said, it's very hard to comment on something where you don't really know the people involved.