Its Over

[Roughquest]

I have taken a giant leap, decided to end the 'relationship' (if you can call it that) with a married guy I have been seeing.
It still hurts. I feel dreadful. Its taking all strength I have not to phone him. He has sent me loads of texts already. I know he could never be mine.
"If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours, if it doesn't, it never was". Some words of comfort from someone out there please would help right now as I cant go to bed to sleep as I feel too upset and hurt. I miss him.

[Avocado]

Hey - I was in the same situation - not with a married guy though. He wasn't treating me right so I ended it with him, it hurt so much - I was pining over him for months. When I found out he was with another girl I accidently got back together with another of my ex's - big mistake. When I saw him with her I cried and cried inconsolalbly. It hurts like hell. When she screwed him over and he was at his lowest point he came back to me after realising how good I actually was for him. Some called me a fool for taking him back, but that was over a year ago and all my critics have been silenced by longevity.
However, if I had stayed in the relationship from the begining when he wasn't treating me right, I would have suffered and so would he, and I was prepared to never see him again, even though I was madly in love with him, I knew it was to right thing to do, something I had to do, even though it hurt. If he gets a divorce and comes for you, he's a keeper, and you'll have made the right decision as you have tested his words agasint his action. If not, then you've still made the right decision, as you'll know his true intentions.
Hang in there - and leave the ball in his court - and he has to back it up with actions remember. The ones you want - a divorce I assume? If he whisks you away somewhere or is real romantic, ignore him unitl he follows through. You've done the right thing, and you know this. :)

[dot.hawkes]

change your mobile number and move on, no point wasting your life.

[Katie~77]

As harsh as it may sound, I agree with Dot. Chin up, there's plenty more (free & single) fish in the sea.x

[TheTemptress]

i went through this 2 years ago only we were both married and it was he who ended it. i had all but ended my marriage for him..his wife found out, my hubby never did. basically he said he loved me, i adored him, he said in the end he chose his son over me....fair enough...no contest at all there. i was devastated. i had to build my marriage even though i was still in love. 2 years later, after much heartache, crying, deliberating what might have been...im glad to say im in love with my husband again....i mean really in love. now i hope he feels the same about his wife..i would never have believed anyone who said that sometimes an affair repairs a marriage but i can honestly say it has with me. i actually dont regret the affair but thats only because i didnt get caught. my husband knows something happened but says he can never ask for fear of the answer. good luck...i feel for you i really do...but thankfully for me....im really happy and i wouldnt go there again...good luck..:)

[Redbel]

I was also in a relationship some 20 years ago with a married guy, thought he'd leave her for me, which he did for two weeks. I decided to end it as I felt so guilty. He is still with his wife until this day btw. He has cheated with a few more women to my knowledge, glad I ended it.
Roughquest.....walk away from this man.....even if you got with him, wouldn't you always wonder if he was cheating on you!!
Take care xx

[Avocado]

May I digress slightly?
Question for Temptress, is it possible to fall in love with a person again after falling out of love with them?

[fatmanlevi04]

Wow, Roughquest, I think we have all been there and yep it does hurt, but believe me when I think of the tears and pain not only I went through but I put my parents through turning up back at home at all strange hours of the night and look back now, you wonder have you ever been in love at all!!, I am nearly 34 female and hiding behind a user name that most people think I am a guy, its actually a dogs nickname who I lost years ago, I have been to the brink but trust me you DO move on and wonder why you spent so many miserable years thinking you love someone when really us girls want what we cant have. I am married again, cant honestly say Yep Ive found the one but he is good and I would be heartbroken without him, but then I think I have felt like this erm too many times to mention, I am not heartless but a normal and typical woman. Time will make you better I promise

[TheTemptress]

in answer to question....i was very confused, my husband wasnt treating me very well...this guy i suppose was everything i wanted in a man....this was very unfair to hubby i know but the truth. i also take the blame because in order to be with the other guy, i let things slip, created problems,. started arguements, basically pushing him to leave me. he never did. but, we eventually talked about what each other wanted, admitted our mistakes (omitting mine..i dont mean to be flippant about that)..i was selfish, simple as that.....we have both worked hard, i look at him now in a very different way...i didnt respect my husband any more but seeing how he has changed and tried so hard i have really fell in love with him again...well it has been 24years, sometimes things go wrong, we changed from 20' to 40's so it aint that easy...he is very loyal and i love him for that.

[Redbel]

fatmanlevi...spot on....I was hearbroken when I ended it, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I spent night s crying and wondering if I'd get over him, but I did..now I'm with the man of my dreams...they are out there Roughquest....don't settle for second best.

[ELVIS68]

I agree with dot, hard it may seem, but it`s best in the long run

[Pippa68]

Yup ~ dotty is right. There is your whole life to live..why waste it on the unobtainable?