not so nice female at work

[bobtheturkey]

at work there is a rather large female who sits near me she appears to find me attractive, she is cross eyed so it is incredibly difficult to know if she is actually talking to me or the person 12 feet to my left, also she has a mole on her chin from which protrudes several strands of ginger coloured hair, furthermore her backside is roughly the area of a small pacific island and im sure if she went in the sea should would have harpoons shot at her, how can i tell this "woman" im not interested before she accosts me in the canteen while im eating my sausage roll
regards bob

[B00]

ok ok ok I get the hint, you're not interested in me:-(

.......unless..........

would it help if I plucked me mole, and wore sunglasses?

[raysparx1]

bob send her over to me, if you wore trousers instead of chocolate coloured Y fronts and sandals woman would find it a lot easier to resist your undobted charms, if she don't want me, get me a pair of her used knickers !!!! thanks bob

[Toureman]

Might put her off if you asked her if she would eat your sausage roll, or perhaps...............

[-Zorro-]

Bob just sh@g her once. You make find you have a thing for the larger ladies

[wolf63]

you will have to watch yourself Bob.

I am very big and used to have a squint (the comments were usually "are you looking at me or for me") luckily I have a thick skin as well as a large behind, but it is well balanced by the big boobs. (and I wish I was joking)

You will have to invest in a naff t-shirt saying that your interests lie elsewhere, or that you have a significant other . It is cruel to leave her thinking that she is in with a chance. If all else fails get a 'save the whale' t-shirt.

Susan

[RATTER15]

That's easy Bob, just wear what you wearing yesterday to pick the rhubarb.

Or take her sunbathing at the nearest nudist beach, and inform Friend Of The Earth about the stranded whale, they will then tow her out to sea. Sorted!!

[dot.hawkes]

Oh I think if she really had the hots for you (and of course she probably has ) she would give you some sort of sign, like, waddle over and lick u all over, I suggest to avoid this you try to divert her attention by placing a large plate of sugar coated donuts on the edge of your desk and an open copy of 'Latex for the Adventurous'

[bobtheturkey]

all good advice zorro, dorothy, ratter, raymondo auntie,toureman and wolf

[dummkopf]

Tell her you're gay ........


You're NOT are you ? just checkin'

[TheTemptress]

go cross eyed too and really confuse the poor woman...oh and my brother in law would adore her....he is well into that sort of thing. my sis says he is the perfect man. the fatter she gets the more he wants her!!! man'oh'man says the gals!!!

[chimney]

Tell her you support Liverpool ; )