half brothers

[havinmysay]

hi u lovely people
iv recently found out my dad was married before and had 2 sons anyway to cut a long story short she ran off wi another man and my dad couldnt cope wi 2 kids on his own so they got adopted they were 2 and 6 months at the time.the youngest son has tried twice to get in touch with my dad but my dad wont have anything to do with him i on the other hand would love to meet him should i just leave it or try to find out about them all i no is there first names and that they'll be in there early 30's

[oldwoman]

Go look for them, he is either punishing the children for the sins of the mother. Or feels extreme guilt at giving them up.

[havinmysay]

its nothing to do with their mother he just says hes been down that road and doesn't wanna do it again

[Suzyboo]

Have you asked your dad why he doesn't want to speak to them now?

[Suzyboo]

Sorry, cross posted. I would want to know about them and try to meet them but on the other hand, wouldn't want to do it behind my dad's back so would have to tell him

[maggie01]

I would speak to your dad first. It must be hard for him and we don't know the full story, but I would have thought he owes them an explanation.

[havinmysay]

i also no that his ex wife is in contact with the youngest son cos she phoned our house when my dad was out and just said she wanted to talk to him about the youngest son and said she would phone back but never did

[Pisceangirl]

Oh dear. What a really sad story. Your dad must have been in a right mess when his ex left him and I'm sure he didn't make the decision lightly (to have them adopted). He must have felt terrible guilt and had to deal with all this over the years possibly leading him to detach himself from the situation beause it may have made it easier for him to forget (or at least push it to the back of his mind). I don't see any reason why you can't meet your two half brothers though. You would have to be honest with your dad about it but I think it would be a shame if you didn't honour their wish to get in touch with their biological family. Hopefully they have had a loving relationship with their adoptive parents and are just curious about where they came from. Good luck :)