is phone sex cheating

[hadmart]

just found out my partner has been phoning 09 phone sex lines. Says he has only done it twice out of curiosity from his mobile but for the past few months has been hiding his mobile phone bills from me when they come each month. Found out by finding an old bill he had left aropund. Says he wont do it again and is not interested in them. Have asked him to show me all his phone bills for reassurance he has only done it twice but he refuses. What you think?

[hadmart]

hi elvis68
the phone bill is in his name so cannot get statements. Just need to know if itsa one off like he says or whether more of a problem.

[PinkFizz]

Ok,so if you asked him to show you his old bills for your peace of mind and say that if he hasn't been calling them there shouldnt be a problem,what would he say?

[Champagne]

I once caught my boyfriend with his pants down (literally!!!) whilst on one of those sex lines. I was livid!!! Not just because he did it, but because I was upstairs in bed at the time and he could have got his cheap thrills from ME!

It's a weird feeling, because it's just some anonymous female on the end of the phone and you know deep down that it's the equivalent of them watching a porno, but with a voice responding to them. But at the same time you feel like they're being a sexual deviant. Your mind starts to wonder what they'll be up to next.

I have a good friend who's hubby joined a chat room and ended up liaising with the same sleazy woman online. It made her sick to her stomach when she thought of another woman stimulating her husband. They're divorced now.

I think it's okay so long as a man is honest about it and reassures you that it's just a form of release for him. If you really don't want him to do it though, then he should respect that. If he continues to do it after you've said no then you need to consider whether you want a man like that.

I hate men right now. They're all bar-stewards!!!! ):o(

[noxlumos]

If I were him, I'd be absolutely furious that you'd poked around in my mobile phone bills and then confronted me about it. The stupid phone calls are niether here nor there to be honest, but someone snooping in your private correspondance is an utter breach of trust and not something I'd tolerate. It's obviously not being unfatihful and as for demanding to see his other statements , do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to behave like this? He's a grown man, fully entitled to call stupid sex lines if he so wishes, and I wouldn't imagine he'd give a hoot if you call them too, because frankly it should be no big deal and certainly not a great drama.
If your relationship is good, this should be a non event, if it's not then look at why it's not and do something about that instead.

[RATTER15]

Yes he is cheating!! he is chatting to some bimbo live and pulling his pud at the same time, yes thats cheating!! look at this and make your own mind up: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cheatin g

[nat_84]

i feel your pain champagne.....i feel your pain.....

[ELVIS68]

If the phone bill is in his name then surely it`s up to him if he shows you it or not

[CiderMonkey]

it may not be that he is actually speaking to someone, a lot of these lines are pre recorded.
Although i'd be peed off, i wouldn;t mind as much if it was one of these pre recorded ones, as it's almost just the same as watching vids, looking at mags, or reading a saucy book!

the fact that he won't show you bills seems to me like he is still calling them but the more you ask the more he'll refuse. He probably feels guilty about it anyway and is getting defensive because of that. He's getting a thrill cos it's a bit naughty..

what worries me is if he is making LOTS of calls to them as they are very expensive.

[cascarelli]

I do think its a step further than just looking at porn. Ok, its not quite being unfaithful but only a short step away. I can see that he wouldnt want to backtrack and show you old telephone bills but maybe youve do enough to scare him off it (for now!).

[Champagne]

It's interesting to see that most of the men here see it as another form of sexual release, and that because they have no emotional attachment to the 60 year old blonde bombshell on the end of the line, it is therefore not classed as cheating. Whereas women see it as cheating because he�s been getting aroused and stroking the pony with another woman, albeit a complete stranger on the phone

How very interesting, Mr Bond�.

I kinda agree with Rubes in that us girls view it as a less direct form of cheating.

I put it to my fella this way:-

If he doesn�t see it as cheating, then surely he�d have no problem with me having phone sex with a guy. Or better still, getting an evening job as one of the 60 year old blonde bombshells on the other end of the line�

[Goodsoulette]

I am with nox on this 100 percent.

I dont think it matters how high your sex drive, how much he wants to have sex with you, you could be well be his ideal fanatasy girl and satisfying him in every way possible numerous times a day but. he will still masturbate. It's nice to believe that they only think about us when they do, but its not like that is it? I dont see how its any different to watching porn.

[RATTER15]

If you are getting sexual gratification from a person other than your partner without that partners permission or knowledge, then I am sorry it is cheating!!

and I am a male!!

[hadmart]

dont have a problem with him masturbating never have done. Do object to him getting sexual gratification from another woman. Yes it is so much different to porn magazines/videos and when asked if he would like me to phone sex lines he said he would not be able to accept it. Whatever, it is causing much upset and hurt to the partner he loves. I

[Mr Tall]

Is thinking of other women whilst knocking one out cheating?

[Blyss]

Im a woman and I do not think calling a number in a mag is cheating.
I do think calling or chatting up a woman hes "met" via the internet is , because then hes getting on a personal level with her .

[Rubyrose]

If having phone sex with someone is not considered personal then I don't know what is... whether he chatted them up in a bar, chatroom or got their number out a magazine....