Making big life changes

[steve208]

Hi not posted here for a while!! Anyway ive just got back from a weekend away and after speaking to a good friend from uni am thinking about making some big changes.

But id like some opinions on if i am making the right decisions.

She is currently working in birmingham and says i should move up there. Also that I have not made enough effort to find an admin job to get me started on the ladder. Its true that I have not thrown my whole effort into getting what i want.

I am living at home at the moment and very unhappy. Aside from family i have few ties where i live in hertfordshire but see birmingham as a great oppertunity. Its just that i am not confident in my ability to loeave home and get a job there. My parents say i should make applications and get a job secured before moving up there. Anyway any advice on risks and making big changes in life would be much appreciated.

[Katie~77]

Do it! I moved from Luton to Shropshire all on my lonesome 7 years ago. Best thing I ever did. It's got to be worth a try Steve.x

[steve208]

ok well. If i get a job here then i will take it and use the experience to get something in brum in 6 months otherwise i will apply for lots now and try to get something sooner.

I am going to use this week to make lists of what i want and how and when i am going to get what i want. Now these wont be huge things but will set myself the target to move out of my parents house in 6 months etc. I will always be able to come back in things go wrong so its good to know that but i need to boast my confidence and tell myself i can rise to the challange and get what i want.

[bobtheturkey]

steve you make lists every day but dont actually seem to get anywhere why are you posts so repetitive? i assume you are healthy you have a certain level of intelligence so why dont you just get off your backside stop making lists and talking about what you are going to do and go and ******* sort yourself out.

[Im a BusyBee]

After seeing your questions over a period of time i would just say go for it. We can all use reasons or excuses to make ourselves believe the time isnt right but sometimes waiting for the right time makes things delayed often permanently. You dont seem to have anything keeping you where you are and this would be the start of the rest of your life. Especially so as you know you can always return if things dont work out. Be impulsive, get your act together and go for it!

[steve208]

thanks bob. everything is so simple isnt it?

[steve208]

anyway i was only asking advice so if all you are going to do is put astricks at me then well....if youre annoyed by my posts then just ignore them.

[dot.hawkes]

I have to add to Bob's comments steve, that there has been little progress since you made your last decision, maybe you should just be more impulsive, i am sure i have said this to you before.

[steve208]

ok sure you have said it before but its very hard to be impulsive with such little confidence. But ok i will make a promise to you all -they say somone is more likely to do something when promises are made to others that they are going to do it. So I will:-

Not post any questions here again until it is to say that progress has been made.

one thing though.....if i take a civil service job then will it be frowned upon if i were to leave after 6 months to take a job in birmingham rather than london (not a civil service job)

[bobtheturkey]

steve if you like your job then stay in it, if you dont then find another, if you like living with your parents then stay, if you dont then get a place of your own, if you run out of bog roll and the shops are shut use hankies, life is a series of simple choices steve you either do or you dont if do doesnt work and dont isn't an alternative you improvise, the reason your life is complicated is because you make it so , you are an adult you make your own choices they are not always right but wouldn't life be dull if it was, if you sit making lists and asking people what you should do then you will go round and round on some nightmarish loop, make a decision man and get on with life we all do

[dot.hawkes]

ditto what he said ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

and tomorrow smile all day.

[Im a BusyBee]

Im sure your confidence will be boosted if you just do it for once, you will be forced to get on with your life, at the moment you are in the comfort zone, not happy but not standing on your own 2 feet. Get a life - i will be very surprised if you regret it.

[nursecarla]

Bob blunt as ever :)))))) x x x x x x xx x x

[Redbel]

You'll never know until you try it.......and you may end up regretting it if you don't......

[steve208]

my friend says even if i want to be really imopulsive i could just quit my job working in a shop at the moment go to brum with enough money for a month and would find a job and a room within that time and land on my feet. My parents say oh you cant just up and leave your job. Well i hope it wont come to that i will have the civil service job so be in a better position to apply for admin jobs and secure a new job in brum before moving there.

[skylight]

Hi Steve, Straight to the point - You ave only got one life, this is not a trial run so take the bull by the horns and do what you want to do. You're all the man you'll ever be, so common go for it. As long as you've got a tongue in your head and some money in your pocket you cant go far wrong. If you dont try you will never know. My daughter has just signed a four year contract to go and work in Nicosia, in Cyprus. She goes in November and once there has to find a flat. That is a bit scary but she's going for it and if it doesn't work out she can always come home. At least she can say she gave it a fair shot. Think positive, if you are not happy and you can do something about it, do it. It will give your confidence a boost. Cheers skylight

[bobtheturkey]

steve knowing you will get to the train station and miss the train because you cant decide which door to go through or you may not even get there as you will not be able to decide on whether to put your socks on y fronts on first

[raysparx1]

Steve only you can decide what you want to do,but if you don't try different things and different places,you will never know, I agree with bob that if you are happy where you are great, if not do something about it, what have you got to lose ? you gotta leave home sometime,why not now ?

you don't say what you want, do you know what you want ? nothing is going to drop in your lap,you gotta grab chances as and when the arise, good luck, Ray

[steve208]

thanks ray.

I think i do need to find things that make me happy unhappy and goals.

I need to write down where i will be in 6months, 1 year, 2 years, five years. I have never done that so if i do it and promise results then i will turn things around. I have always gone with the safe options. Now is the time to find what it is i want exactly not have vaugue ideas. thats probably why i have not got far before i have been vauge and indecisive. I Will Be positive and decisive from now on.

[bobtheturkey]

he is still making lists!!!!! give me strength!! god help your milkman steve