Hi...

[Silversky]

I haven't been on here for a while... This was the last question I posted. And now it seems I have got no better- http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion326308.html I feel pretty much the same way I did then... But now I have also got serious bullying problems at school... And my parents are going bankrupt with their business. Because of this my mum is now depressed. And we can never ever stop arguing! My nan (who I am very close to) has just come through a tough operation, and my family are wondering if she'll last much longer. I have also just finished my GCSE mocks... which were exceptionally stressful. I pretty much have no friends... as I lost most of them due to confusing circumstances. And I struggle to make new friends because Im too afraid to trust anyone, since it seems my best friend of 10 years broke my heart and trust. I have counselling quite alot... but I can go in and come out happy, then afew hours later I just sink. I'm just struggling to see a way out of it... drugs aren't the answer, and I feel like my counselling isnt working... I'm just lost. and I dunno what to do.... xXx

[daisy48]

Hi Silversky, I remember you. So you're still being bullied? Have you told the headmaster about this yet? Im sorry to hear about your parent's,its must be hard for them. Has your Mum seen her doctor about her depression? You all seem to be under a lot of stress plus the worry about your Nan. Please stick with the councelling at least for a while longer. You can also speak to the Samaritans,they're good listener's! You say drugs are not the answer. Have you been prescribed anything by your GP? If so,would you mind saying what it is? . Daisy xx

[Silversky]

Hi daisy.
I told the student support officer at my school and then my Deputy head. It was very difficult to admit but I got over it. Nothing much changed. But I think I've just got so nervous and paranoid that I can make something out of nothing.
My mum I think is too proud within herself to go and admit she has a problem... even though deep down she knows it.
My GP had asked me if it was better for me to have drugs or counselling. I feel that drugs is just covering up my problems... and it'll just make me dependant on them.
I did also forget to mention that I have one friend, who I text huge amounts.... he helps me a lot, because he helps me talk through things. But I feel really bad about it... and then I panic and think that I may lose him because I depend on him too much.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i remember you actually. It seems like its got much worse. I would have to agree with your doc. Take some drugs(medication) and carry on with the counselling. You might not see the point in it, but it really does help to talk to someone. With things this bad for you, they can only get better. Dont worry about your mate, he wont desert you. Personally i think your just a little paranoid(worried) that everything around you is gonna go wrong. In time, you will think back and wonder why you was so worried.

[scruffscat]

Siversky,now the dreaded mocks are out of the way first of all you can relax now.Is there not something you can do after school to make new friends,and also get you away from the family situation, even for a little while so you can detach yourself.Have you been diagnosed with depression,if you have take all the help they give you anti depressants included-they only replace what your body is failing to produce its nothing to be ashamed of.Try to stay positive about yourself you seem so down onyourself it makes me sad for you ,you cant be that old and you have so much in front of you to look forward to.Take care x

[Silversky]

Yes, I was diagnosed with depression about july time...
and theres is not alot in my area for me to do... and then everything costs money these days... and then spending money with it being a major family problem just makes me feel guilty... If thats not silly to say.
Mr Ben, I think alot of things went wrong a while ago... and I am also quite paranoid... I also agree.
scruffscat, I am 16...I have struggled to like myself for years... so I struggle to see the decent side of myself... I think its through persistant bullying

[scruffscat]

I think the fact that you are only 16 and are able to come onto the answerbank and talk so articulately about your feelings,should make you proud of the fact that you can.You sound like a very sensitive, sensible young person who has just had a very hard time of it all just recently.My son goes to the local army cadets once a week its only �1 for 2 hours hes made some great friends and there is a real sense of team work and respect for each other there.they go on outings really cheaply as most of it is subsidised,and also go on weekends away.Just a thought for you my son loves it hes15.

[Silversky]

Thank you, thats very kind of you to say so. I think that if I didnt talk in the way that I do or act so maturely... then I would not have half the problems that I do.
And, well, I'm not saying that I'm lazy but it doesn't really sound like my kind of thing... Being female for a start. I have a job as a trainee chef. It takes up alot of my weekends.
I was actually thinking yesterday. I love horse riding and haven't done so for some time.
But I was doing some research, and it costs so much money now. I'm worried that I'm going to struggle to find something to do.

[scruffscat]

lovi dont worry ,theres lots of girls go there...they go to meet the boys and vice versa,what part of the country do you live in,if you dont mind me askin

[Silversky]

I live near Coventry and solihull.

[MrBen5]

Just a suggestion. but have you thought of getting a dog or cat? They would certainly help you for company and give you something to do. Or even join summat online. It will take your mind off things

[scruffscat]

In our area, what my daughter does is go into a stable after school and mucks out and grooms and for that she gets a free ride on the horse, believe me if she didnt i couldnt afford to let her go.

[Silversky]

I have a dog- Bertie... He kind of helps, and I do have a certain amount of websites I use... I just really really struggle to get away from my feelings.

[Silversky]

I also used to do the same scuffscat. I may try and take it up again. And maybe try and find someone to go with. I'm just really struggling to make the effort at the moment however... If you understand what I mean.

[beryllium]

Hi Silversky,
Can you leave school and join college? get your head down in a more adult envoiroment? I think it would be best for you to start looking after you. Your mum and dad are adults in an adult world and they will survive!!! my parents also went through such a trauma in the 80's (yep! before you were born) but they survived as did I living with them at such a hard time in their lives.

Please look at your college website. I think you need to leave school and it will give you a head start over those small minded trolls.

Wishing you all the very best.

B.

[Silversky]

Yes I have thought about it alot...
Unfortunately, it would be difficult with my GCSEs just round the corner.
I have been advised not to change anything... and just get my head down and do my work...

[beryllium]

I suppose that depends on how far you've got with them. How far back would it set you? and how much does the college charge to take GCSE's? you'll be already established there if you apply now. Don't procrastinate.

[Madgirl2]

Silversky, I remember reading your question. I agree with MrBen5. Drugs get a bad name sometimes (mainly due to the press influence) but there are some realy good ones out there that might help you. A few years ago I was having some problems and just couldn't see a way out of them. Under the supervision of my GP I started a course of anti-depressants and after just a couple of weeks I felt so much better and stronger. I remember something happened one week and I clearly remember thinking ' my goodness, I would have been bawling my eyes out at this a few weeks ago and now I'm not'!!!! I was on these drugs for 6 months and they helped me tremendously!!!!! Anyway, most drugs are NOT addictive and if you have a good GP he/she will look after your best interests. Keep up the counselling, consider a course of medication and I feel sure you will get there. P.S I am a nurse and would not tell you to do anything that I wouldn't do myself!! Good luck!

[beryllium]

Hi Silversky,
Here is a very informative site with lots of people with varying depression. The medication can be addictive, physically. There are too many stories on here that say different to what you will be told by medics. I was one of them. On 75mg venlafaxine once a day given for nerve pain btw. I stopped taken them and had major physical withdrawals.
Always go into medication with your eyes wide open and knowledge is power. :-)

http://www.defeatdepression.org/ubbthreads/ubb threads.php?Cat=