men wearing womans shoes

[havinmysay]

i have a friend who has 2 young children and about a year ago she told me her partner had bought a pair of white stiletto pvc boots for himself without telling her when she later confronted him about them he just said ''im not gay i just like womens shoes''.He keeps the shoes under the bed and my friend always notices that they have been moved when she has been out.she has started to look at his searches on the internet and saw that he has been looking at ''how to walk in womens shoes'' and doggin sites.She told me on saturday that this is really getting to her and been put on anti-depressants,she has only told me about this and i really dont no what to say to her but ''it might be just a phase'' i need your opinions on this.
serious answers pls xx

[zigzag]

try here

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/storycircle/fair ystories/
and here

http://www.ivyjoy.com/fables/

for an answer
lol

[Goodsoulette]

the ex infection was a cross dresser and he loved shoes too, its not something he is ever going to stop he'll just sneakier about it. She either has to learn to live with it or get rid if it bothers her that much. Guys who like to dress up in womens clothing rarely are gay but it gets annoying that they get turned on by an object.

[NiceCupOfTea]

Talking openly and non-judgementally is the only way to go, but is very difficult. I am glad she has such a good friend in you to talk to, but remember to stress that it doesn't mean he doesn't love or want to be with her.

I think the shoes and the dogging are two separate issues. Many people role-play while being with each other, but maybe this idea is abhorrent to her. He may like the idea of dressing up, and she may be willing to explore this aspect.

The dogging is a different ball game. Some people are into it, but it is most definitely not every body's cup of tea. If dogging sites are the only porn he is looking at, he may be considering doing it in which case she has a problem. If it is just one aspect of his porn viewing, then he is probably just getting fantasy kicks out of it that he'd never act upon. Porn in itself is something different people have different views on, so if he is doing this to the extent he is doing nothing with her she has a problem. Otherwise, she needs to just be honest and tell him that his Internet jollies are disturbing to her.

[ummmm]

I don't think I could live with that

[curlyfilm]

just a fetish............

[zigzag]

A tall tale is a story that claims to explain the reason for some natural phenomenon, or sometimes illustrates how skilled/intelligent/powerful the subject of the tale was. In either case, the tall tale is fictional and usually obviously so. It can, however, be based on a real figure. Very often, the tall tale is told in a manner that is intentionally ridiculous.
For some strange reason other women are taken in by it.

[joko]

what are you dribbling on about zigzag?

[makemesmile]

zigzag, unless you know about havinmysay's friend's husband that we don't, you're not being very helpful

[babydust]

well if she never knows what to wear she could always ask her partner............................. sounds like he likes the ABBA look tho

:)

[dot.hawkes]

What size is he? I may have some back stock I could put his way at a reasonable price : )

[fairkatrina]

So he wants to wear ladies' shoes, so what??? In the grand scheme of things it's not that big a deal. I assume as you haven't mentioned it that he doesn't hit her, or spend all their money on drink or drugs, or cheat on her. Most people have their little kinks, it's just that some people are kinkier than others. It's not like he's he's asking her to tie him up and beat him. He's not even pressuring her to feel involved, as he only wears the shoes while she is out of the house. Perhaps she would rest easier about it if she wasn't constantly checking them to see if they've been moved. She is fixating on the shoes, but if we're being honest here it's not very likely that they alone have put her on antidpressants. It sounds as if all communication between them has broken down, and that she doesn't trust him as far as she could thow him. Perhaps she would be better off in the long run if they had a frank discussion about what the shoes mean to both of them - perhaps he doesn't realise how upset she is, and she doesn't realise how harmless this fetish is.

[Siamsal]

I know someone at works whose husband is 'into' shoes. She was rather put out by it at first, but now treats it as just part of his life.

It's no big deal is it?

Mind, I wouldn't like the dogging - that is just wierd, and sounds rather like their relationship is in trouble. I'd be far more worried about that than wearing the 'wrong shoes'.

[Siamsal]

BTW, out of curiosity just done a few searches on Google, and the fascination with shoes seems far from uncommon.

[DavidUK]

The fact that he gets turned on by shoes is, as Siamsal says, no big deal is it? If your friend goes along with it and accepts this little foible, she might get some very good sex and a very appreciative husband out of it.

As for looking at dogging sites - that doesn't necessarily mean he would actually take part, it might just be a bit of a fantasy turn on.

I feel sorry for your friend's husband. She should be a bit more tolerant and understanding. None of this means he doesn't love her.

[havinmysay]

i wouldnt be so bothered about the dogging but i dont think i could be with someone who wore womens shoes.
i no they have been argueing alot lately and she went back to her mums for a few days.im finding it really difficult to give her any advice

[Goodsoulette]

I do think attitudes to this are a bit strange. Admittedly since I have started dating again after breaking up with the ex, I am 100% looking for someone who does not crossdress but its not worse than wanting to go dogging surely? Wearing shoes or wanting to join in with random couple having sex in a car park. If I was given a choice between the 2 I would pick the lady shoes.

My reason for not wanting a crossdresser is with my experience I found him to be very selfish and that it was almost always about the clothes, not us!

[spurslady]

Dogging is the worst bit of this, If he did act upon it and got caught he could get into a lot of trouble. Look at what happend to footballer Stan Collymore
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/page.cfm? objectid=14005756&method=full&siteid=50143

The dogging bit would get to me more than the shoes. At least you are being a good friend and being there for her.

Shame about his taste in shoes is pants though!