domestic violence?

[foxyroxy141]

hi guys, i have never posted in this section before so i can only ask yr advice, long story, but after a period of not getting on my huband of 4 yrs attacked me. i hadhim charged with abh but we are still living together. do u think he'll do it again? we have a daughter of 26 mnhts old too but he has never shown any sign of violence .towards her

[Goodsoulette]

I lives with my partner for 5 yrs and he assaulted me at least twice a week, if I got a break from it I knew I was going to get an absolute battering. However, I never had him charged, even for the broken bones. I would say that if it was the first time this had happened then by you being proactive and getting him arrested is a step in the right direction. Do not foget that by him having not touched your daughter, doesnt mean him beating you has not abused her. My son has changed tremendously since I kicked him out, and my youngest son still doesnt like men 6 months on. Its all very well to say get out while you can, but do not give him a second chance else you'll end up like me and start thinking its normal to just take it. You'll end up alienating everyone you love, and feeling guilty about what your kids have seen and heard.

[StewyGriffin]

From a male point of view, if any woman i was with attacked me she would never see me again. No reason would be good enough.

Having a child together does make a difference, you need to discuss whats best for your daughter, if you feel he maybe a threat to her you need to talk to someone with more knowledge of the law than me.

You are better than that, No person should ever have to put up with that crap.

Hope it all works out.

Stewy.

[dilf]

chances are he will girl though that does not necessarily mean he will attack / abuse your daughter. YOU can tell, what is he like, is he generally intimidating to you, do you think that 1 day given the right cicumstances he might give her a clout their is no excuse for the coward foxy, it is your shout .

[Goodsoulette]

Good point Dilf, I dont want to harp on about me but worse than battered bones and thinking I was gonna die was the constant put downs and being shouted at, or embarrassing me by talking down to me infront of anyone and everyone. If he does any of that, just go now.

[ummmm1]

I will go against others....sorry. I was in a violent relationship once, in the unpredictable kind of one. Then my next partner, who was a lovely man, done something to me once in an argument and once only. It never happened again....

[ummmm1]

I would also like to add.....If a man ever lays a finger on me ever again he can say goodbye to his kneecaps

[StewyGriffin]

Mental note: "Keep fingers away from Ummmm1"

sorry Foxyroxy141, just trying to keep a smile on our faces. :-)

[freak_unique]

A tricky one if he has only done it the once BUT that doesnt mean he wont do it again if he could do it in the first place. id get the hell away from him for you and your daughters sakes,you dont deserve to be treated like that and your daughter may not be abused but could be mentally scarred if she ever saw it. my first serious relationship i was totally trapped, the guy hit me then once realised could get away with it hed threaten to smash my face in for sticking up 4 myself again him, threatened to drown me, threatened to kill himself and let everyone know it was me so i wouldnt have any friends, follwed me home and cornered me because i broke up with him...in the end i left...best thing i ever did.

[Redbel]

My heart goes out to you foxyroxy.....chances are he will do it again. Has he ever assaulted anyone else other than you?.....this type of person usually does.
I don't think he will be violent towards your daughter btw....but do you want her growing up thinking his actions are normal?.....Please take note of what Goodsoulette and dilf have said.
Take care xx

[Blyss]

best advice I can give you having been through it , is get in touch with womans aid , they will help you out in many ways .
Just because he has only done the deed once {you never stated if it was during a fight or what caused it or how he hit you} I know that even just a small slap would make me leave my present husband , but I also know I wouldnt slap him either . So without knowing all the gritty details its really hard to adivse you.
Personaly , for me one slap would be enough and he would need to leave .

[ummmm1]

Sorry, yea I agree.... I don't think he will hurt your daughter. But if he does carry on, do you want your daughter to grow up thinking it's normal for a man to belt a woman.

I think not......but that's what will happen

[dilf]

nips ummmms ar$e and legs it

[ummmm1]

Lol dilf....how are you sweetie????

[##Wardy##]

You didn't get him charged, the Police did following CPS advice.

The main reason the Police charge all domestic abuse (from common assault upwards) is to protect you.

87 percent of murder in the UK is domestic related, that is why the police take ALL domestic abuse seriously nowadays.

Are you sure he has been charged and not just police bailed? Very rarely nowadays would a defendant be charged and return to the domestic home. 2 things could have been more appropriate.

1) He was put in front of the next available court (i.e 9.45am the next morning)

or 2) Bailed to attend court with conditions not to return to the address or make contact with you.

Are you sure he has been charged???? Mmmmmm.

And to answer you question, Yes he will do it again. And again. And again.

[stokeace]

get out while you still can babe before he really hurts you a lepeord NEVER changes its spots he will calm down for a while then will kick off again.

[raysparx1]

foxy, please get rid, I abhor violence towards a woman, he is scum and is very likely to do it again, I would think it unlikely he would hurt your daughter, but he should not be given another chance to hurt you.

[mifta]

Fortunately, I have never been in your position, but I am quite confident that if my hubby hit me he would be out of the house, never to return. Your littleones safety is paramount. If he hit you and you never thought he would he could hit your child.

Please be careful.

[Pippa68]

In my opinion, one strike and her would be out.

He may well never hurt your child, however a child growing up in a violent home can be affected just as badly as a child who has been beaten.

It is hard to say if he will do it again ~ only you know that really (despite asking the Q). If you feel unsafe or uncertain, do something about it.