I think you are dreaming a little of what might have been and it builds up in your head to be a bigger thing than it might have been,and the child is a constant reminder as well, having said that though,your first love is so special,you get over it but you never forget it, I am still in touch with my first love and she will always have a special place in my heart, but it did not work, I am married and have been for 35 ears and the lady I married is fantastic and we are so happy and I would not change a single thing, if I had married the first love,I don't think it would have worked anyway,so I have no regrets, there is someone else for you and it probably will happen,but when and how that happens, who can say, but never give up he might live round the corner, good luck pinky, Ray x
Don't settle for comfortable, as you say not fair on either of you.