He Who Saves His Country Does Not...
Society & Culture0 min ago
All the relationship questions.
24 Answers
Can anybody tells me what the exact problem is when their partners sleep around.
I am playing devils advocate here and have never cheated (except when I was a teenager) and to my knowledge never been cheated on.
Is it really that bad. If it was only sex, there are no nasty diseases, it is not a pattern of behaviour.
Why the big deal. What are the emotions of those who have been cheated? I do not buy the "trust" thing that is so often batted about. You either trust somebody or you don't. The word is meaningless.
Why the problem?????
I am playing devils advocate here and have never cheated (except when I was a teenager) and to my knowledge never been cheated on.
Is it really that bad. If it was only sex, there are no nasty diseases, it is not a pattern of behaviour.
Why the big deal. What are the emotions of those who have been cheated? I do not buy the "trust" thing that is so often batted about. You either trust somebody or you don't. The word is meaningless.
Why the problem?????
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:-) just sending you a smile mr Wardy... thanks for putting that up... I did wonder why your answer was like that... sorreee if I was a little rude :-(
and I think monogomy and faithfulness is the best thing when you are commited to that man or woman....
extra marital? course it goes on, but I'd rather it was with a working girl... no strings at all and no phone call follow ups. If a woman cheats? she must be unhappy about something deep in the relationship..... I have knowledge on both sides of the fence lol....
and I think monogomy and faithfulness is the best thing when you are commited to that man or woman....
extra marital? course it goes on, but I'd rather it was with a working girl... no strings at all and no phone call follow ups. If a woman cheats? she must be unhappy about something deep in the relationship..... I have knowledge on both sides of the fence lol....
Most, but not all, people enter a relationship that is based on assumed monogamy.
Two-timing hurts. Infidelity can destroy families, crush spirits and cause pain. It gives rise to questions as to why it happened which generally leaves feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, lack of satisfaction with existing relationship, why the need to seek thrills outside the relationship. It begs the question: if the relationship is so bad, why are you in it? But often people on the receiving end don�t know that it is that bad. Hence the shock and hurt.
Often, people who cheat don�t want to admit relationship failings themselves, thus we have the old �in vino veritas� as Uncle Caesar would say.
Two-timing hurts. Infidelity can destroy families, crush spirits and cause pain. It gives rise to questions as to why it happened which generally leaves feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, lack of satisfaction with existing relationship, why the need to seek thrills outside the relationship. It begs the question: if the relationship is so bad, why are you in it? But often people on the receiving end don�t know that it is that bad. Hence the shock and hurt.
Often, people who cheat don�t want to admit relationship failings themselves, thus we have the old �in vino veritas� as Uncle Caesar would say.
Hmmm, depends how much you like someone i suppose. if you dont like them and see women as 'just sex' then i suppose its ok. But some people want intamacy and stuff. How do they know if they have diseases? I think its a bit cruel for a guy to go sleep with another woman and have the possibility to pass some disease on to her, then maybe to the kid.
Regarding trust, why have laws? why do people have to swipe in and out at work? Cant employers just accept that their staff will turn up? Would you trust a total stranger? Do you ever check if there is any bog roll before you have a poo when you use a public toilet? I could go on all day...
Regarding trust, why have laws? why do people have to swipe in and out at work? Cant employers just accept that their staff will turn up? Would you trust a total stranger? Do you ever check if there is any bog roll before you have a poo when you use a public toilet? I could go on all day...
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I don't think men attach as much emotion to sex as women do, women see it as a way of expressing they are attracted to someone (even if only physically) and its a way of being close to that person whereas men see it as a chance to just have sex and get the physical satisfaction from it even if it means having sex with someone who they are not remotely attracted to. For women cheating hurts because they see it as the man in their life has said "I'm not attracted to you anymore, I don't feel the need to be close to you. I've found I can gain the closeness I need from different women/ a different woman." To women it's an insult to their physical appearance and the way they can provide for their partner emotionally.
For men I think it hurts because it's like the woman saying "You don't satisfy me anymore so I need to find a man who's better than you" It's an attack on their ego, it's like saying "Is it in yet?"---very insulting!
For both parties I think the issue is more if their partner originally attempted to hide the cheating from them, it's basically being lied to, even if they do 'confess' after it first happens, like Octavius says most relationships are entered into on assumption of monogamy, if one person breaks that its like the assumption was a lie. Thats my thoughts anyway!
For men I think it hurts because it's like the woman saying "You don't satisfy me anymore so I need to find a man who's better than you" It's an attack on their ego, it's like saying "Is it in yet?"---very insulting!
For both parties I think the issue is more if their partner originally attempted to hide the cheating from them, it's basically being lied to, even if they do 'confess' after it first happens, like Octavius says most relationships are entered into on assumption of monogamy, if one person breaks that its like the assumption was a lie. Thats my thoughts anyway!
When it happened to me, it was the pain afterwards of knowing that my boyfriend (now ex) had been close and intimate with someone else. I felt physically sick. Yes, i guess it is worse if it is a long-term affair coz there is a lot more feeling involved. But a one night stand would still leave me gutted if my partner did that.
It is a general assumption that men are emotionally detached when it comes to sex ~ the primal forces can be abundant!
However, it is not always the case that lack of sex at home forces men into cheating. They can be lacking a secure home life, their wives may also be cold & unfeeling but still have plenty of sex. It becomes automatic, and both parties can be left unfulfilled. In this case it is a relationship problem. Others can just go off and have sex whenever they feel like it with no qualms at all simply because they can. It seems to be what drives them..and maybe because it makes them feel more of a *man*.
When Mr Ps ex wife was witholding sex (only from him, not her lover) she told him to go and find someone else to satisfy him. He wouldn't, and couldn't, do such thing. He was married and that was that ~ he couldn't and wouldn't betray his marriage vows.
However when they were dating and the same thing happened he did. He says that at that time he was single, so it was ok ;o)
However, it is not always the case that lack of sex at home forces men into cheating. They can be lacking a secure home life, their wives may also be cold & unfeeling but still have plenty of sex. It becomes automatic, and both parties can be left unfulfilled. In this case it is a relationship problem. Others can just go off and have sex whenever they feel like it with no qualms at all simply because they can. It seems to be what drives them..and maybe because it makes them feel more of a *man*.
When Mr Ps ex wife was witholding sex (only from him, not her lover) she told him to go and find someone else to satisfy him. He wouldn't, and couldn't, do such thing. He was married and that was that ~ he couldn't and wouldn't betray his marriage vows.
However when they were dating and the same thing happened he did. He says that at that time he was single, so it was ok ;o)
Hmmm, if you dont mind your partnet cheating, next time she feels like it, send her round to mine and give her some money for some beer for me. Also, let me know when your out next, i can come and stay in your bed with her. Eat your food and break your groove up on the settee. Also, could you get all the sky packages for me as i might wanna watch footy after. leave your keys for your car too. i might wanna nip out...
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