Help!

[felicity99]

Due to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding in Australia in April. Last saw her 3 yrs ago, put on 7 stone since. What do I do? Although I love my fatter figure I can't face squeezing into airline seats and family reaction.

[redcrx]

what sort of reaction do you think you will get? if you are happy with the way that you are then why cant you face them?

[felicity99]

Well I know being this size isn't to everyone's taste, and the dress I'm having made will look vile on me. I don't want my sister to think I'll ruin her photos! That combined with a 24 hour flight and the expense of probably having to buy two seats, I'm thinking it's easier not to go.

[redcrx]

you dont say what size you are, for all I know you could have been a skinny weight of 7 stone 7 years ago and be just a little overweight now
You really dont sound happy about going but is there not a part of you that wants to see your family over there and enjoy the holiday etc?
Perhaps you could get a dress in the right colour but in a style that suits you better than your cousin has in mind?

[MiniN]

if your happy with you being a bit bigger than thats all that matters. you'll really regret not going.

i'm sure your sister loves you and does not think you'll ruin the pics! anyway arent brides only concerned that no-one looks BETTER than they do on their big day?

[felicity99]

Unfortunately not! I was approx 14 stone and I'm 5 foot 7 so I wasn't exactly skinny then! My family were always pestering me to go on a diet, even though I was and still am perfectly happy. Not sure she'd be happy with me changing the style of dress. Do you think I should tell her about my weight beforehand if I decide to go?

[redcrx]

if you dont feel comfortable with the style of dress and you still want to be there for your sisters big day then maybe you could mention that you are a bit bigger than last time you saw her and that youd like to know if you can get a dress made here for you. If the dress is still in the same fabric and along the same lines as the other bridesmaids then i dont see why she would mind.
As I said before, if you are happy then why not go and shown them that you are.

[MiniN]

definatley tell her and mention how much this has been bothering you. i'm sure she'll understand.

[felicity99]

True! I am having the dress made here but perhaps the answer is to have the dress made there. Then she will know I've gained weight when I tell her it needs to be a size 30. As she's super skinny and can be quite rude about fat people I don't want to put her in the position of having to say she'd rather I wasn't a bridesmaid as that would really upset me. I guess what I want to know is the general consensus on fat bridesmaids.

[redcrx]

bridesmaids are the nearest and dearest that you want to share your wedding day with. they are not to be specially selected model types who will look good on a pic but you will never see again and will have forgotten the names of when your children ask you in years to come.
The only advice concerning larger bridesmaids is not to stand the smaller and shorter ones behind them for the wedding pics. :)

[bednobs]

i think any bride would love to have a fat bridesmaid, as it maks them look thinner. Besides your sister has asked you, felicity, to be hr bridesmaid because she loves you!

[felicity99]

Thanks! Def cheered me up. Now just need to brave the attempting to squeeze into airline seat and comments and glares from air hostesses!!

[zipadeedodah]

The main worry must be that she doesn't know about your size now - so tell her! As bednobs said, she asked you because you're her sister and she loves you - so it really shouldn't matter what you look like. At least once she knows you don't have to worry about the reaction anymore! If you don't say anything and just decide not to go you'll regret it.

[bednobs]

i saw my sister for the first time in 4 years this xmas .. i was worrieed because i'd gone from a size 16 to a size 22 in that time. However it turns out so has she! i was very pleased to see she had an enourmous arse! and looking back i have absolutely no ideaa why i was worried

[redcrx]

Im sure that once you are there youll have forgotten all about this worry about going or not.
Have a great time!