A serious question for the ladies - If you see a guy sitting on his own..........

[SurreyGuy]

...................in a club/pub -

a) what would you think about him or his circumstances?

b) would you go and talk to him?

T.I.A.

[Katie~77]

I wouldn't go up and talk to him, because I'd just think that maybe he wanted to be left alone. A few of my friends would definitely go and talk to him to find out why he's alone.x

[ummmm]

I would think that maybe he fancied a quiet pint

No, I would never walk up and talk to a stranger. If he was sitting at the bar though and spoke to me I would happily talk back

[SurreyGuy]

Thanks ladies.

So, how could said guy "give out the message" that he DOESN'T want to be left alone?

T.I.A.

[ummmm]

In a pub you'd be better off sitting at the bar and if a lady takes your fancy get eye contact and smile at her. Even if she's not interested she'd be flattered.

[SurreyGuy]

Hi ummmm.

I do exactly that and get the occasional smile back, but nothing ever comes of it :o(

I'm too shy to just go and chat to a woman (although I have tried at times) and I just wish someone would come and talk to me. It's not just you ladies who like to feel "flattered" and "wanted" you know :o) And before you say you might get rejected, I don't know any guy who would not want to talk to a lady if she made the effort.

[ummmm]

It's hard I know, especially as it seems to be the mans job to make the first move.

Do you go to the same pub?

[Eve]

Do they do a quiz night or similar where you could ask someone if you could join their team?

In those circumstances if I see someone on their own then I'd probably ask them to join us, depending on the guy that is, and if it looked like he was happy enough on his own or waiting for someone. Have done it before.

Probably by sitting near them and saying they were more than welcome to join us and then leave it up to them.

[SurreyGuy]

Hi ummmm and Jenna1978 - great ideas!

Yes, I'm a nice happy guy and I'd certainly be willing to give the "quiz method" a try! :o)

[Eve]

Yey :) I think body language is a good thing to think about, sit nice and open and relaxed and smile (well not like a loon haha), makes you more approachable.

If you're not sure about asking a team outright you could always have word with the organiser as there are usually regulars they will know could suggest a team.

Or sit near some nice looking people when things are getting started and just ask someone casually if there's something going on tonight, they may ask you then if you'd like to join them.

A sneaky tip is to sit at a big table teams will want, if you see teams looking then you could invite them to join you, ask if it's ok you can stay there and help out.

It's usually a nice friendly atmosphere and some girls are a sucker for a guy who can do the sport section haha, well i am anyway :)

Good luck! :) x

[Eve]

Ps...me and a mate were doing a quiz one night (only ones who could make it out of our usual group) and a couple of guys were sat near and and asked if they could join us. We met up pretty much every week after that and became good friends and one of them even went out with my mate for a bit.

From doing the quiz regularly the organiser asked me if Id be up for joining the pub darts team which I did and met some great people and made some fantastic friends :)

[SurreyGuy]

Jenna1978

I'm gonna go and do some pub quizzes! :o)

Thanks

[Roughquest]

I love people watching when i am out with my friends - and if i spied a guy sitting alone, I would wait a while in case his girlfriend/wife has simply gone to the loo or the bar to get drinks and if after a while he is still on his own, i would make eye contact and smile at him, I would think that perhaps he is on his own because maybe he has had a fight with his partner or indeed he just wants a quiet drink, however, one does not need to be with friends to 'pull' - although it does help a bit. Its a free country, if someone wants to go to a pub/club alone - then go for it, I think it takes some guts and confidence to do though and I take my hat off to you SurreyGuy !
RQ xx

[caz247]

i agree with RQ it doesn't mean you are out on the pull
but if you approached me then i wouldn't have a prob talking to you. I think you are worrying too much .
You sound like a really honest and approachable guy though


caz x

[SurreyGuy]

Hi Roughquest and Caz. Thanks for the compliments. so..............where is it that you go when you're out?! :o)

I have been out a few times on my own and never been approached :o(

I don't want someone to think I am out on my own coz I've had a fight with my partner - I am out coz I want to meet someone. Mind you, short of wearing a sign to that effect, what can one do?

I've just come back from a holiday (on my own) in the US. I went there coz I'd been told that American ladies love English guys. In the two weeks I was there, I only had two women talk to me :o( One lady was in her 50s and was worse for the drink and with her hubby and one lady in a shop who said I had a lovely voice and sounded like James Bond!

[Pinky99]

must admit normally I wouldn't talk to anyone because I am quite shy!! however after a couple of glasses of wine I would try and talk to anyone who looks a bit lonely!! Must admit in my opinion somone who looks lonely probably isn't :( However SurreyGuy rest assured I would probably try and talk to you because I can't help it!!

[SurreyGuy]

OK Pinky - with my luck, you probably live nowhere near me :o(