Opinion's Please.

[battersby]

I've had 2 days away staying with my long time friend who lives in Wiltshire and dont know If Im angry or upset. She (My friend) had a triple bypass 5 years ago and suffer's with asthma. She has check up's and last year her consultant told her if she did'nt stop smoking (She'd given up once) she would'nt last 18 months. She gave up again rightaway and was given an inhilator by the hospital which,she said helped her a lot. Speaking to her on the phone,she seemed wheezy and said it was the asthma playing up. Needless to say,when I went to visit,she's back on the fags again. She can barely walk into her kitchen as she's so breathless and getting upstair's is like climbing a mountain to her. I kept on at her to have another go at giving up or cutting down at least but she say's she cant do it. We've been friends since we were kids and I hate to see her in such a bad state. What else can I do/say to persuade her to help herself? TIA.

[dot.hawkes]

Probably nothing really, medically she will know the score but maybe she is just thinking she is going to be ill anyway and giving up smoking, which she obviusly needs as some sort of emotional crutch, would only make her more stressed and edgy.

[battersby]

Thanks Dot, Maybe you're right. She did say " If Im gonna die,I may as well die happy". We had a walk to her local Spar,only 10 minutes away.It took us over half an hour as she had to keep resting. I hate to see her like that as we grew up together.

[Dee Sa]

Its hard but accept this is her wish.Dont keep nagging, deep down she knows.
Has she thought about applying for a grant for a motorised scooter to get her to the shops and around the house rather than suffering like that.

[raysparx1]

Hi battersby, very sad situation, as dot says you can do no more, some people are so dependant on drugs they find it impossible to stop, she knows what will happen, she has been told it will kill her, I had a friend that was told the blood to his legs was so slow circulating,if he didn't stop it would mean amputation, he never stopped,the next time I saw him he was in a wheelchair, without legs, but still smoking, I find it hard to take in, but it is her choice, but it isn't easy seeing somebody you love kill themselves, all you can do is be there as the good friend you are, take care, Ray

[oldwoman]

Write her a letter and tell her how much she means to you and you don`t want to lose her. I know how hard it is to give up,I`ve just given up my 40 a day habit. I use the nicorette inhilator. Give it one more go, if she sees it in writing you might touch her in some way. Best of luck.

[WendyS]

I think the others are right. There's probably very little you can do to get her to change her ways. Just write her a lovely "thank you" letter and tell her how upset you were to see how her health has been affected by her asthma and beg her once again to try and give up smoking. The harsh reality is perhaps that she may already be suffering from lung cancer. If she won't give up smoking, at least try and persuade her to go to the doctor and get a chest/lung xray, and contact Social Services to see if they can provide her with some aids which will make her life easier. Sadly though, we all have free will and she seems determined to exercise hers. .