Burns night! for all my fellow scottish abers!

[alinic]

This is a tonic! i laughed out load for ages! so it helps the body and soul!
Enjoy!

TAE A FART

Oh whit a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Jist as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts tae stir an enormous win'
The neeps 'n' tatties 'n' mushy peas
Stert workin' like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin' wi' the sauncie face Will hae ye blawin' a' ower
the place Nae maiter whit the hell ye dae A'bodys gonnae hiv tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle It's like a bullet oot a rifle Hawd yer bum
ticht tae the chair Tae try an' stop the leakin' air Shify yersel fae
cheek tae cheek Prae tae God it disnae reek But aw yer efforts go
assunder Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom God almichty it fairly reeks Hope a huvnae s**t
ma breeks Tae the bog a better scurry Aw whit the hell, it's no ma
worry
A'body roon aboot me chokin Wan or twa are nearly bokin A'll feel
better
for a while Cannae help but raise a smile Wis him! A shout wi' accusin
glower Alas too late, he's jist keeled ower Ye dirty ****** they shout
and stare A dinnae feel welcome ony mair Where e'er ye be let yer wind
gang free Sounds like jist the job fur me Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' wan wee farty

[crete]

excellent, but howmany abers will think this is a foreign language ?

[whiffey]

The noo !!!

Post of the day, I love Scotties.

No, it's post of the year !! Thank you alinic I am still shaking here.

[curlyfilm]

sorry i'm english, looks like japanese to me....lol

[crete]

scotties are dogs whiffey ?

[alinic]

Well it was so good i had to post it here! Tears where rolling down my face reading it!

[whiffey]

No kidding, this is the funniest thing I have read for ages, and I can hardly see to type. There must be something wrong with me, but I do love Scotties, and they've got the trains venturing over the border as well.

[naz_nomad]

Superb ... I love the ''bullet oot a rifle'' bit

[snagged]

Read it out loud to myself as it is written...

top drawer alinic!! ;o)

[B00]

Excellent, a title of a poem/sing with the word Fart in it, i'm seriously impressed!


Happy Burns Night alinic

[ELVIS68]

I thought Burns night was on the 25th

[VINNY100_2]

~~~~~~~~~HAPPY~~~~BURNS~~~~~~~~NIGHT~~~~~~
yo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ alinac~~~~~~~~~ (*_*)

[ELVIS68]

For all the scottish Abers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oL7maSYKz-g

[-Zorro-]

hawkeye the noo

[tara20]

So it is , but the parties are long!

[zigzag]

have you got the Glaswegian lyrics to American pie?
arf

[johnlambert]

Thats braw alinic!!!!

[zigzag]

Hoo's it gang johnlambert?

[shanx]

it took me a while to understand it,but there you go[i am a mear celt] but got there in the end,enjoy wish we were with you.xx

[whiffey]

This thread has been on my mind for hours the noo. I just can't get it out of my head. I once had a wee friend called Jock. He was a Scotty surprisingly enough, and every now and then he would wink at me, then lift a cheek and let fly, and it would clear the room. Actually it was far more often that every now and then, it was more like every 5 minutes of his waking life, dirty little git the noo :)

[steviep165]

just worked my umpteenth Burn's night, and i wish the speeches were like that!! i'm tired of hearing the same old dross year in year out!!

find me the author and i'l gladly sit and get hammered with a good malt with him.