How to pull the perfect 'sickie'.

[Headtime]

OK, who's got the best method for getting a leave free day off-work. Nothing outlandish, just something better than 'Uuurggghh..cough, cough..I'm not going to be able to make it in today...'!

There's a hot mug of tea, a plate of Rich-Teas, duvet on the sofa and a double dosing of This Morning and Countdown for the correct answer!

[Hippy]

How about; "Hi there boss. As I can't be bothered to give up my valuable TV viewing time to do your meaningless drudgery I shall be stopping away today. You really should not pay for my absence, after all I'm not really worth it. However, I will be back tomorrow just as if nothing happened and, of course, expect you to forget all about it. Is that a deal?"

Should work, I think.

[Headtime]

Not bad, Hippy! However the whole point of a sickie is fiscal remuneration whilst enjoying 'A Place in the Sun". for I am worth it!

[shybearuk]

Dodgy seafood excuse works well for me, but you can't use it too often.

"Sorry Boss. I won't be in. I've been up all night with the shi...runs" ;o)

[Constantine]

Tip #1: NEVER pull a sickie on a Monday or a Friday, much too obvious. #2: Plan ahead. The day before your sickie start feeling quite unwell while at work. Everything's a struggle, an effort, a bit of moaning and groaning for effect, lots of sit-downs and water breaks, but "soldier on" thru it and see the day out. Under no circumstances allow yourself to be sent home, #3: Easy-peasy. Phone in sick the next day. Whatever illness you've decided on followed by "I've been up most of the night/had a terrible night" etc, "I'm going back to bed now to see if I can sleep it off. I'll definitely be back in tomorrow" blah blah. #4: Don't go back in tomorrow. Phone again, not quite as early as the day before. "really sorry. Thought I'd be over it by now" and so on. BUT THEN turn up at lunchtime. Continue the performance from the set-up day. "I really couldn't justify a second day off/ If I'm well enough to be out of bed I'm well enough to be at work"etc. Follow these hints and no-one will doubt you, and in the future you'll have no-questions-asked sickies, because you came back to work as soon as you could, still ill and so on. Good luck!!

[smudge]

No matter what 'excuse' you make, it'll always backfire on you, 'cos when you are really sick, you'll have to go in, else you'll end up having too much time off! Staff used to report to me on return to work after sickness. I could always tell if they had been pulling the wool, especially when they held their heads or stomach's, talked too much about the 'illness' but forgot to clean the paint out of their hair or from under their nails - dead give away! So beware!

[tracymort]

migraine. they come on all of a sudden and you just can't work with one of those. Or food poisoning. Or persuade your boss to allow "occasional" days. Where you just can't be bothered. It'll cut down on sickies!

[woofgang]

If I told you then more people would use my method and my boss would realise what I had been doing these past years....

[gerry]

Try this one phone up and tell them you slipped in the shower and you can't move your wrist and your going down to the hospital just now and you will phone later.Then when you phone back just tell them the doctor said you gave it a bad knock and the best thing to do is rest it and put some ice on it and then tell your boss i should back in tomorrow.