help!!

[~posy-jo~]

me and my husband have agreed to split. we haven't been getting on for a while and we've been round and round trying to make it work but it just ends up worse. i'm 26 and going to be on my own with 2 children. it's been years since i have been on my own and i'm scared!!! anyone else been in this situation that can tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel? it's just wierd to think i might fancy someone else or even be with someone else!! maybe i should just stay on my own forever!!!! aaarrrggghhh!!!! xXx

[raysparx1]

Hello posy, Nice to see your name but not under the circumstances

sorry to hear that, but not surprised, I have never been in that situation, so can't offer practical advice, but if you ever want to talk, if you still have my e-mail drop me a line, and at least you can rant at me, or I may be able to advise or help on different matters, take care, posy xx

[-Zorro-]

hi posy...sorry to hear that....xxx

[~posy-jo~]

hi ray!! hope you're well!!! xXx

[~posy-jo~]

hi zorro!! god it's weird being back on here!! but i am allowed now yaay!!!!

[unruliejulie]

hi posy, its great to see you back but a shame that your question is such a sad one!
there is light at the end of the tunnel although it might not feel like it at the moment. stay positive.Just think how much happier you and your kids will be in the long term . Being alone is scary but it will be ok. Take it from one who knows!!!! I left my first marriage 14 years ago with a bin liner of clothes, �10.00 in my purse, �30.00 in the bank and my little boy!!!!! No home, nothing!!!!! You might feel like staying on your own forever now and it would probably be best to do that for a while yet, plenty of time to let someone into your life in the future, but for now, concentrate on your kids and yourself only!
I wish you all the very best for the future but you'll be fine! XXXX

[snagged]

Your glass is half full not half empty! Good luck ;o)

[~posy-jo~]

hi julie!!! thanx for that, it's all a bit scary at the minute. i'm getting a house sorted hopefully, everything else is sorted now, i'm all packed and that. it's all just very scary!! new home, new area (going back up by my mum) leaving my job. it's all changing!!
thanx snagged xXx

[Pippa68]

Well posy (great to see you, btw!) I was exactly the same age as you when I split from my first husband..I also had two children.

I thought the same as you..in fact I thought my life was pretty much over.

Then I met Mr P..and the rest is history. It didn't take that long for me to realise I had never been happier ~ however it WAS a bit of a long road getting there. Keep your chin up, love :o) xxxx

[~posy-jo~]

hi pippa! it's all so scary!! thanx for the advice, glad it all worked out for you xXx

[Pippa68]

And I am sure it will for you, posy. xx

[Hellion]

Hi Posy long time no see - sorry about the circumstances though. I can't offer much adice really I've never been in your exact situation but I have ended long relationships in the past. At first it does seem scary, lonely, exciting, overwhelming it's a lot of changes all at once. The only thing I would say is get yorself settled in new home and then dive right into your new life - it's going to be different but hopefully fun!! And of course there's always young Stevie waiting patiently in the wings and Zorro will always be good for a gig and a pint lol!
Hellion (xXx)

[steviep165]

young!!!!
i wish. Lol

[~posy-jo~]

hi hellion!! how's things hun? stevie? young?? hahaha!! not sure he's waiting in the wings either!! xXx

[Matheous]

I don't think any one has mentioned the children.....?

I went thru this in the early nineties and although I am remarried I still miss my children-even though they are grown and it still hurts- very much. I thought as time went by they would mellow and rebuild a relationship with their father (me) but time is marching on and I haven't seen my only son in almost seven years since my mother's funeral.

I will never forget my youngest daughter who was only four years old at the time, asking me why I took her 'mote control' -and pleading with me to 'marry my mum'.......We were actually married-but in a child's eyes we would re-marry to make a reconciliation. Although I have no feelings for my ex-wife- I have always been able to speak on the phone without any malevolance. I just wish I could see my children again - I will always love them -no matter what.....

[ilovemarkb]

Hi posy- jo I have been in that situation in 2001. My husband had been having an affair, the night i found out (from his mobile phone) i asked him to leave. At first i wondered how i.d cope! But i did! I became a lot closer to my 2 boys who were 3 and 6 at that time. Financially i was better off. I had a part time job and was able to claim child and tax credit, they also payed towards nursery fees and after school club.I made sure i had a night out most saturdays, had guitar lessons, keyboard lessons.Basically i done all the things that i,d wanted to do years ago but my grumpy husband had moaned about. I used to wonder how on earth i could love another man or have (nookey) with them, but you just do. I was on my own for a couple of years (although i did have lots of dates) but i wasn,t prepared to rush into things. I am with another man ( a proper one this time) so there was light at the end of the tunnel for me. The kids see more of their dad now, than they did when were married, oh and he.s still with "her"!! I dont hold a grudge against her as she done me a favour. Looking back now i had the time of my life when we split and only wish that i,d finished the relationship earlier! Good lluck to you and your two children xxx

[Pippa68]

In a round about way I mentioned my children!

Setting that record straight, it was my ex husbands decision to end the marriage ~ and my decision to make sure my children didn't lose contact with their father..despite his heavy social life & workload...

When push comes to shove, when marriages end it is incredibly sad, and painful ~ even if the decision is mutual. I hope posy and her ex can work through the situation with the children as best they can :o)

Mr P lost contact with his daughter for quite a while due to his ex wifes stupidity. I have seen the result of that through him & his daughter. On the other hand, my children from my first marriage are well adjusted & happy kids.

My heart goes out to you, Matheous. I know how horrendous it can be.

[robbo82]

Hi Posy, I can't really offer any practical advice I'm afraid, having never been in that position myself, I just wanted to say I hope everything works out OK and let you know that your friendly ABers will always be here to help and support you along the way. Good to see you back on here.xx