Crosswords2 mins ago
Am I being unreasonable 2?
10 Answers
Rule 6
I have no doubt you are popular with girls. This is fine by me as long as it is ok with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to do so until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry
Rule 7
If you want to make it on time to see the film, you should not be dating my daughter. She is putting on her make-up, a process that can take longer than painting the Sistine Chapel. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule 8
The following places are NOT appropriate places for a date with my daughter:-
1. Places where there are sofas, beds or anything softer than a wooden stool.
2. Places where there are no parents, policemen or nuns within eyesight
3. Places where there is darkness
4. Places where there is dancing, holding hands or happiness.
5. Cinemas showing films with a strong romantic or sexual theme. (Films which feature chainsaws are ok).
Rule 9
Do not lie to me! On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. I have a jungle knife, a shovel, and I won an award for trench digging when I was in the Army
Rule 10
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for something like, say, the sound of your car stopping, to make me have a flashback to my Special Forces days. When this happens, the voices in my head usually tell me to sharpen my fighting knife as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull up to the house, you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car and drive off. The camouflaged face behind the window is mine
I have no doubt you are popular with girls. This is fine by me as long as it is ok with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to do so until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry
Rule 7
If you want to make it on time to see the film, you should not be dating my daughter. She is putting on her make-up, a process that can take longer than painting the Sistine Chapel. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule 8
The following places are NOT appropriate places for a date with my daughter:-
1. Places where there are sofas, beds or anything softer than a wooden stool.
2. Places where there are no parents, policemen or nuns within eyesight
3. Places where there is darkness
4. Places where there is dancing, holding hands or happiness.
5. Cinemas showing films with a strong romantic or sexual theme. (Films which feature chainsaws are ok).
Rule 9
Do not lie to me! On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. I have a jungle knife, a shovel, and I won an award for trench digging when I was in the Army
Rule 10
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for something like, say, the sound of your car stopping, to make me have a flashback to my Special Forces days. When this happens, the voices in my head usually tell me to sharpen my fighting knife as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull up to the house, you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car and drive off. The camouflaged face behind the window is mine
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