is this homnophobic,or just a bit of fun?

[legend759]

is it homophobic in your opinion to use terms such as big jessie,
big girls blouse,
one of the girls,
light on the loafers,
a hint of lavender about him,
a bit of a nice boy?

do you think theses terms would offend a gay man?
if you are a gay man do these offend you?
hopefully this question will not and is not inteneded to offend anyone.
if it does please let me know .

[redcrx]

my mum always called my brother a big girls blouseIt was all said in jest and hes straight.
Im sure i call my son one at some point or another, its not at all homophobic to call family it.
But Id never call someone who wasnt a close friend it, straight or gay would make no difference either.

[4getmenot]

Big girls blouse is more calling someone a wuss not referring to them being gay. and gay people should be happy we think they're nice boys :-)

[Fee_B77]

Ahem

I think as long as you have a rapport with the person you are addressing and words aren't used spitefully then you can be assured they won't cause offence. Sometimes it really can be PC gone mad!!

[legend759]

cheers fee beeee.

somethigng in your throat lol

anyways as i said not ot offend read the rest of my posts .
hope youre ok doll.

and if you evber ........

nah forget it ok

adios :)

[Champagne]

I don't think there's a problem with it at all.... YA BIG JESSIE!

[makemesmile]

I guess it's only a bit of fun if the person it's directed at finds it funny. Otherwise, it smacks a bit of those things some people say, usually beginning with 'No offence but....' usually followed by 'Only joking'

[laurence2]

Its PC gone mad.

If your sensitive to trivial sayings as quoted in legends post its because your insecure with yourself, the terms legend has quoted are not offensive in my eyes, and i know plenty of straight men who have been called these as well as gays

[Skreecheeboy]

I think it's harmless banter, but I do think the pink brigade are going a bit far with the equal rights stuff; I mean choosing to be gay and then demanding the right to adopt on an equal basis as folk that are unable to have kids through no fault of their own is political correctness gone mad.

[makemesmile]

So why is ok to call a gay guy 'a bit of a nice boy' but not ok to call a Jewish person 'big nose'?

[Pippa68]

'Choosing to be gay'???

Ermmm, ok...

Where did the term 'Jesse' come from? I quite like it as a boys name.

[mormess]

Yeah, not sure about the choice element in being gay. The term "gay" has become very popular recently, as in "that's so gay" - something which is rubbish. Not sure how this does cause offence directly but I guess if you trace the origins of the term you're going to find something offensive if you choose to. My mum still bemoans the loss of the word "gay" as a term for "happy". I don't know if she ever used it before it meant "homosexual" but there you go.

It's worse when your name is actually Jessie - oh, that's just hilarious. Even if you are a girl. :-I

[Skreecheeboy]

Of course it's a choice. If I chose to give up women I would have the common sense to realise that in doing so i would be giving up the ability to have kids. It's not rocket science!

[Pippa68]

I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life.

Since when have gay men chosen to 'give up women'???

[Goodsoulette]

I thing thats a bit of a grey area there Skreecheeboy. If you you have two heterosexual couples wanting adopt a baby could you pick one over the other because in one couple the woman was infertile as she contracted chalmydia when she was younger. She did after all make that choice to have unprotected sex. That is an actual choice as well, you don't choose to be gay. Equal human rights for everyone (except for Sue Barker, I just dont like her)

[Skreecheeboy]

Yes Goodsoulette, although that is a choice it isn't a choice you make knowing that it will 100% render you unable to concieve from your actions, unlike being gay. And please don't turn around and say that they haven't got a choice because they have, urges don't make decisions, it's the human brain that does that.

[Pippa68]

Doesn't the human brain also create your urges?

As far as I am aware I am heterosexual not through choice, but because it was the way I was born. I could 'choose' to be gay tomorrow if I wished, but it would make no difference to me whatsoever.

[legend759]

pippa if youre hetrosexual you could choose to be bisexual but not to be gay.
if you could choose then you would be proving the theory that youre not born gay its a concious decision.
which im reliably informed isnt the case

[Pippa68]

That's what I am saying, legover ;o)

I could 'choose' to be gay but I wouldn't be...gay people don't choose their sexuality do they? they were born gay, just as I was born straight!

[Skreecheeboy]

I know it's a contentous issue but I don't believe the facts that you all seem to be quite happy quoting. I believe in freedom of choice. I have nothing wrong with other people's decisions and totally respect the way others choose to live their lives, I'm not looking to interfere or owt. I also happen to believe that we're all born the same and it's how we are brought up that causes us to develop a desire to sleep with people of the same sex. I'm not a scientist or anything but how can there be a gay gene when your genes are passed on from your parents? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I didn't think same sex couples were able to conceive. Genetics is a very complicated science and I think it'd be difficult to prove one way or the other. But that's just what I believe. Getting back to the question though, I think using any term which causes offence is wrong however it can be expected that if somebody is using terms which cause offence, they are likely to be ignorant to the fact that they're being offensive and unfortunately, in that instance, it's up to the person that is offended to speak up and enlighten the person to the fact they're causing offence. If the person continues to do it when they know they're causing offence, or if they are doing it out of spite or with venom then that is blatently out of order and you shouldn't use them. In a nut shell, it's about knowing your audience as well as choosing your words.

[legend759]

good point skreech.

like online .
i think if what someone says offends you you should let them know.
but dont go on a crusade against them for saying something that they arent to know would offend you