Is it really okay to date a much younger girl?

[porfavour]

I've heard your bizarre replies before saying age is just a number, but tonight, yet again I've had to go and collect my daughter off a complete stranger because her 41 year old bf (she's 18) has kicked off and locked her out. He was jealous because she had just spent an evening with her mum, for the first time in several weeks.
Why is it ok to treat a girlfriend this way just because you are so much older?
And why, as a mother, do I get the hard time for judging the age difference?

[scruffscat]

Als i need to know why a 41 year old man would want an 18 year old, is he a dirty old man,or after a trophy girlfriend,or a borderline peado ? sorry but it just doesnt seem a normal relationship and there are bound to be difficulties she should be out enjoyin herself doin her own thing. Not tied to someone readyto pull out his pipe and slippers.God help my daughters boyfriend if,at 18,she bought a 41 year old home,id only be a year older than him,and if he treated her like that well then he could take on me.

[warpig3]

Three stars for scruffscat ***

Well said.

[netibiza]

porfavor you poor thing - that is every mother's nightmare. I feel so sorry for you. My instinct would be to lock her in a room, belt the hell out of him and end up in prision myself! If she's like my daughter then she is stubborn and headstrong, if you talk to her about it, she'll say you are nagging, but keep trying, hopefully she will see the light before any damage is done. Be there for her come what may and let her know.

[Goodsoulette]

Porfavour, he sounds like a pathetic man. For starters he is going out with an 18 yr old, and I am sure your daughter is a lovely girl but why isnt he with someone older? Because he is lacking in someway, I am 27 and if one of my friends went out with an 18 yr old I would have something to say about it.

Just try to be there for her and hopefully this episode will play itself out. What kind of man locks a young girl out of the house, presumably in the middle of the night!

[jump79]

She's too young IMO to be with this man, not because of the age difference but the fact that she's only 18 yrs old... I was still somewhat naive and immature at 18, it wouldn't have been hard to brainwash/control me at that age by someone much older...
She needs to sit down and think clearly for once, does she see any sort of future with a man who treats her like a doormat? It doesn't sound like a very loving/close relationship to me...she needs to see and accept this.

[ReinaLuna]

Awwww now I see why you are in such a bad mood and feeling so bitter... I always try not to judge people by my first impression, and although you called me a jerk and a timewaster because I feel lonely, I see you are facing a much harder problem now. Sorry for that.

Spanish man, in my own experience, are very jealous and SEXIST. They seem to be living still in the last century... so, of course, he's taking advantage of your daughter being just a teenager, and dominating her. And in her case, if she knows you're not happy about it, she probably sticks to him also because she wants to feel she's a rebel or something? people in this age usually do this kind of stuff, you know.

Well, I hope she will go out of this blindness soon, at least she knows she has support on you and might start to take your advice. Good luck and if you need any help with the language, just ask.

[netibiza]

This is not an age or nationality issue - there are bullies in all walks of life, he is obviously an insignificant man who is a bully, and this is why he's picked on your 18yr old daughter. I've been there and only with my dear mum's help did I escape him finally (after 4 years). Of course I wouldn't listen at first but when he started belting me, then mum stepped in, even though she lived abroad. It takes a while for the victim to realise that they can live without the bully and so I reiterate, just be there for her, cos she's going to need you eventually.