Hi peppy, So sorry to hear about your sad loss,what you are going through is perfectly normal, and mr peppy will not mind you blowing a gasket, I have lost both my parents,so I can understand exactly how you feel it is as if your whole world has collapsed, after all somebody that has been with you your whole life has gone, we also feel vunerable and mortal, if you want to cry peppy cry,never bottle it up,
Your life will never be quite the same without your lovely mum,but she will want you to be happy, and you will be,but not overnight,
I am not religious but I do pop into a little church and light a candle for my parents,I sit there,just thinking of the lovely times we had, and thanking them for being my parents, i often sit there crying and my mum went nearly 4 years ago, you will get there peppy, but the road is a bit bumpy,this first year is the hardest,after that a lot of the memories bring smiles not tears, thinking of you,take care peppy and don't forget let mr peppy kop it, he won't mind. xx