I am stuck in a rut and feeling so low

[worried.me]

Please can someone help i am not sure but some of you may have read my posts before though i dont post here that often.

Basically i am almost 25 and have been living back with my parents since i finished uni 2 years ago.

i have few friends to speak of and have been deppressed for a long time. In the last month I have taken a promotion with the company I work for but it has ment traveling half an hour by car to a new store. I work in retail and find it very stressful, i am not sure the managment job is for me but i dont want to drop it before i have given it the chance and would feel bad for letting them down.

My girlfriend lives three hours away by car and i can only get to see her every other weekend if i am luckey. She is great and always there for me on the end of the phone. But we recently has a week's holiday together and it made me realise how much i really miss her.

I feel so stuck both in my job and at home coupled with doing strange shifts i cant have a regular night to go out and make friends here etc

I cant see a way out of things.

[redhead23]

there is always a way of things you have a lot going for you , an education
a girlfriend
a stable home
transport
and a job and regular income

get yourself down the quacks to get some antideprresents , life is tough for us all at times , why dont u consifer looking for other work with more suitable hours

or give yourself a time frame say 5 weeks to improve things , try this new job , or else look for something else

you actually have a awful lot to be thankful for and perhaps you should join some clubs if you feeling like u do not have many close friends or put an advert in the paper xx

[redhead23]

also check this out
wherever there is life there is hope people have some real bad problems out there , u will be ok

http://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/

[sunflower71]

yes worried.me I remember one of your posts before.
Im sorry your feeling low again and I hope that you start feeling better soon.
Have you tried any herbal remodies? St John Wart or anyhing like that?

[worried.me]

i do take anti-depressants at the moment but with the new job i had to give up the counsellling which i was having once a week and not being able to talk coupled with a high stress job is not helping i suppose

[Joe_the_Lion]

Get fit and join the forces. With a degree, you should apply as officer.

Within 11 to 18 months you will have a commission and be commanding a troop anywhere in the world and being paid a half decent wage with excellent pension.

You will have more birds than you can shake a stick at, more sport than Dickie Davis has commented on and food and digs on tap.

What have you got to lose? You have more chance being killed on the roads in the UK with all the miles you do than being blown up by some rag head camel humper. Northern Ireland is now a holiday camp and the world is your oyster.

I would personally apply for the RAF, if I could go back.

Seriously what have you got to lose?

[worried.me]

I have thought about the forces even tried it for a bit and found i am not emotionally tough enough. and i am finding not only am i stuck i a rut but also dont know what it really is i want out of life so finding direction is really hard.

[worried.me]

i am not bothered by meeting women. the one thing i am sure about is my girlfriend i am contemplating moving in with her as she has her own house and then at least i would be happy with that bit of my life as i would be with her.

[Joe_the_Lion]

They will make a man of you. Christ, if they let bloody women on the front line now, I am sure you are emotionally hard enough.

[worried.me]

ok i am sure there are some benifits to doing something like that but i just cant see myself doing it.

[alijangra]

We all have periods of self doubt. If the one thing that you are sure about is your girlfriend then maybe it is time to move closer, how does she feel about it? You sound unhappy in your job, promotion means nothing if you are miserable. Dont worry about letting them down, look out for number one and do something that makes you happy for a change. I suffered from depression very badly in the past, not sure if the pills helped or not but the one thing that made a huge difference to me was leaving a job that left me stressed and burnt out. I also found that regular exercise lifted my mood and made me feel better. Good luck x.

[worried.me]

hum well i do need to give things chance here and may try exercise. need to find what it is i want to do though. and cant keep this amount of distance with my girlfriend as im afraid she will tire of it.

[megan07]

Hi Worried.me Joe has a good point, if only you could give it a try, it would keep you sharp minded and very active.
I do hope you feel better soon, lots of love megan. xx

[emx384]

Retail management is one of the most stressful jobs! Especially in terms of having your own time.
Have you thought about going back and doing another qualification on top of your degree? It will open up your options job wise and if you can do something locally you will meet new people in the area!

Dont feel guilty about letting your work down - at the end of your day it is you you have to make a priority! If you have already come to the conclusion it isnt for you then maybe you have given it the go you need to give it!

Moving in with your girlfriend isnt necessarily the best option, do you really want to start your lives living together while you feel like you do? It may put undue pressure on your relationship in the long run and then you may feel worse off.

Try not to get stuck into the cycle of feeling unhappy all the time - sit down and write some ideas down, look into alternative jobs, hobbies etc - be as proactive as you can, just having a little bit of control back in your life will pick you up out of the rut and after that there will be no stopping you!

Best of luck!

[alijangra]

Procrastinating will not get you anywhere. Life is not a rehearsal, way too short to stay in situations that make you miserable. And definitely too short to lose someone you love because you cant/wont make a decision.

[worried.me]

hey thanks for all answers so far.

I know it maybe something risky to move in with my girlfriend but i am not a great risk taker so maybe if i took a risk it would be for the better? and i could always come home.

alijandra - what decision were you refering to? being with my girlfriend?
sori if i have been a pain to you guys its just that i am at the end of my teather

[alijangra]

Well you state you are afraid of losing her due to it remaining a long distance relationship. Only you know if it is worth taking a chance. Taking risks is part of life, unfortunately! Dont put it off until it is too late and the decision is no longer there to make. And as you say, you can always come back. Mind you, I dont know how long you have been together so I could be talking rubbish!

[worried.me]

we have know each other for three years and been going out for 18months

i do need to give the job a chance but also i am not one for quiting something as i think it would look bad on the cv and my parents would think ill of me. Though saying that im not one for taking risks so maybe now is a good time to start. i dunno i really dont i just cant stand the way things are at the moment sticking with things i think i may crumble but if i quit then i think i will get stuck in a worse position than now ie no job etc.

[alijangra]

You could try and get a new job in her area first? At least this will show her you are trying to be with her? It is up to you, but my life decisions are not based on how my CV would look or what my parents think. Needing to relocate to a different geographical area is a more than satisfactory reason to put on a CV to explain why you are seeking new employment. Anyway, Im not sure my advice is proving entirely helpful or is what you want to hear so I will shut up now lol!

[worried.me]

no dont shut up i mean i suppose if i only want to listen to want sounds easy to do i wont get anywhere. going to have a chat to my girlfriend in a bit.

I am contemplating talking to my boss about how low i feel but not sure its a good idea as she will just think i am weak and i am scared she would sack me

[redhead23]

where is our stars for our serious answers????? booooooo