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Childbirth mess.

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Joe_the_Lion | 15:46 Tue 05th Jun 2007 | Body & Soul
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Not being a father nor ever witnessed a childbirth, I was just wondering if the mothers (and to a lesser extent, the fathers) are weary of all the gunk that comes out with the baby.

What I have seen on TV, it looks like some roadkill has just popped out with blood, gunk, jellyfish, a string of sausages and amidst it all a little bundle in the shape of a baby. The midwife or nurse then wraps the baby and the gunk in a blanket and hands it straight to the mother. I am sure in the olden days they had a bath first. The mother often kisses her newborn whilst the baby is still all manky.

My question is,

Is the joy of childbirth and subsequent smarting of you minny stretched to its hilt, more over-powering than worrying about tasting some baby gunk and getting your maternity gown all gooey with muck?

Also, how long is it til they bathe the baby, and does the gunk smell?
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Ha, ha, ha! You are so bonkers Joe!

Have we convinced you yet, that childbirth isn't really that bad? ;o}
I had a male hippy midwife and when each of his children were born he planted the placentas in his garden and grew roses bushes on them, apparently it has the perfect nutrients for roses.
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Smudgey, to be honest I am not convinced. I think I will have to experience the birth of my own children (although I doubt that will ever happen) for me not to think the whole affair is just a messy article.

My father once said when I was born they threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth.

The cheek!!!
Now I wonder what made your Dad say that Joe? ;o}

Our 17 year old granddaughter says she never wants children, but I somehow think she'll change her mind later on in life!

She's always said that she'd rather keep animals - she may have the right idea there - 'specially when babies are going thro' the terrible two's! Bless 'em!
Wow ! takes me back. 1st was forceps (afterwards worse pain ever) due to epidural numbing too much. He was thickly coated in white vaseline like jelly (cant remember proper name) and put straight on my tummy and he felt a ton weight. Amused they ask you if you want this now and if its a big baby perhaps not. Husband not allowed in till afterbirth came and he found this more interesting than new son who was being devaselined. Studied afterbirth in the bowl and said it had a pulse!!. Men. 2nd son arrived v quickly and shot down table to full length of sausages - I mean cord. Clean as a whistle except for a little blood from old episiotomy which tore. Took longer to repair me than have him. This is probably tmi. Hubby watched all 2nd birth and took some very personal pictures which hubby says yuk to now but not then.
joe- did we answer your question? or do you need more info on child birth?
Max I never poohed or wet myself. Yay for me. You will cope with the pain, go for natural tens and breathing, its amazing how just the breathing in the right way can get you through. Epidural is all dependant on whether staff are available to look after you. If everything goes well and it isnt drawn out, think how proud you would be of yourself if you could get through it with just gas and air.
I asked Joe the same question on the previous page ALLO & his reply is above.

I don't think he's convinced - yet! ;o}
yeah. i thought mabey he would change his mind!
Hi joe , actually this question goes through many a fathers head as he realises he will be welcome to be present at the birth of his child. It is common for them to be concerned if they will faint at the site of all the " blood and gunk " as they call it. Some do of course but most are that overwhelmed to see their little one arriving that they don't notice what is covering baby.
Usually baby is delivered up onto mums front so mum and partner get to see baby and it is known that early bonding is important.
Baby is then taken aside to be weighed and name tagged , given a preliminary check , then handed back to the parents in warm blankets . Most of the wet blood etc is cleared off baby to avoid it getting cold.
I used to wash baby after about an hour or so while mum had her cup of tea.
By the way very, few mums pooh . :-) x
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Allo, just as my mind may have be convinced that the gunkification of childbirth was not that bad, along came rabbitygirl. This whole new concept of white vaseliney jollop, has set me back either further!!!
bloody hell, the joys of childbirth eh?
As for Goodsoulette's answer, I have no children myself but my biggest fear when i do have kids is poohing myself, we were shown a particularly horrendous video of a woman in labour in sex ed when I was in high school and the woman in the video poohed, the fear has stuck with me ever since. On the flip side, I assume that when I do have kids, after going through labour i'll be too knackered to care about gunk, weeing and poohing anyway.
Hello Joe!

If you do have children in the future, I hope you'll be able to look back on this question...you'll giggle your socks off!!

I've just remembered the name of that 'vaseleney' stuff - Vernix!
joe don't let the gooy stuff get to you.


i do remember while in labor with my 2nd. i was sooooo hot. and i kept ripping my gown off. my mom was so embarased by this. she kept trying to cover me up with a sheet.

thinking about it now it's funny. this fat pregnant woman in a doggie position on the bed ripping my clothes off! lol!
by the way i was in a doggie position cause it helped with the pain. i wasn't delivering yet! remember i didn't have any pain killers!
My sister had emergency cesarian the first time round and felt robbed of the 'joy' of natural childbirth. The second time round was natural, and the kid had a big head, apparently the 'joy' was not all it was cracked up to be, oh how I laughed!
Nat. pass on pethedin if thats all they offer you, as I felt it set the labour back a bit for ****** all benefit.
By the time you have been felt up, poked, prodded and inspected by someone who looks like they are mining for treasure during your ante-natal sessions the actual birth is a breeze, poo or no poo! Would you like to feel the head crowning ... the correct answer as you wipe a tear from your eye is : I think I already can you plonker!!!
Bigmamma, mum his hear having a cupopa and she says thats rubbish, about 70% of mums poo and 90% pee themselves! She has delivered 1000s of babies.
Hi Goodsoulette :-)
Your mum a midwife too , I loved it when I worked as one , though not now . Your mum has twice the number of my deliveries and I agree it's easy for mums to pooh but it wasn't a big percentage of the deliveries I did as I recall.
xx
My spelling was cak in that post. Well Bigmamma, I for one think you all do a fantastic job and put up with untold amount of grief from anxious parents. I couldnt stand listening to people moaning in hospital with my two.
Maybe women in the somerset area are a bit slacker round the bum lol
Lol Goodsoulette , ha ha , maybe bums are tighter in Australia where I worked . :-) x

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