grrr

[jen85]

my bf's ex has been texting him alot lately sayin she misses him and wnats him back. its driving me mad. iv asked him not to reply but he does and i found out today he has been emailing her at work and she was sending him pictures of them when they used to be together. he assures me he isnt encouraging her and i think otherwise. iv asked him to tell her to leave it and that he is happy with me but he is reluctant. he says he will but i dont believe him. am i being unreasonable? iv told him if it goes on for much longer i wont put up with it cuz its not fair to let her carry on at the expense of my feelins.

[Octavius]

Agree, he needs the ultimatum.

Personally I don�t think it is reasonable for him to carry on contacting this woman (unless they have financial or dependency issues). And yes, I also agree that continued correspondence will be viewed as �encouragement� by this woman, because your bf is 'listening' and responding.

Sorry, but even though it may well be innocent, you need to put your foot down and he needs to respect your feelings.

[~Wingnut~]

Yes I agree with pa___ul, your not being unreasonable and I think he is encouraging her by replying, he knows what her intentions are as she has stated them to him.
looks to me like he likes the fact he has unwanted attention and it is boosting his ego a little, but he has you as a girlfriend and really he should be putting you first and telling her to take a hike.

[~Wingnut~]

Sorry agree with Octavius too, took too long submitting so didn't see his answer :o)

[jen85]

difficult thing is they have a kid together. i understand they still have to have some contact to sort out visiting times but her texts and emails have been uncalled for recently. its not tht she even likes him its cuz she wants 2 mess things up for me and him and he seems to be falling for it. we r suppose to b out tonight but unless he wants 2 come to my house and talk things through im not making the effort anymore. fair enough he wants 2 keep her sweet because of the child but not at the expense of my feelins. i think him telling her to leave it and just be involved because of the child is reasonable enough. if he loved me like he says he does then he would respect my feelinsg and ignore her and only talk to when he has too. i dont think that this is to much to ask

[Goodsoulette]

I used to have this with my ex but to make it even worse she was a lapdancer and professional dominatrix. I used to be sat there of an evening and he'd say look..... cue phone, cue really shockingly naked pictures of her. He even did 3 days after I had a baby. I used to ignore it. Still this carried on and he was never able to let her go, I think he needed his connection to the fabulous looking girl that he once had. We split up but not because of this and I believe they are in a lot more contact than they were before we split.

If he isn't doing anything and tells her he is happy with you, then thats all you can hope for.

[pixiepie]

fair enough they have to have some contact if they have a kid together but anything else is a little unreasonable. you could ask him to ignore her unless its something to do with the kid and she may get bored if she is just messing about. Good luck but i think you really need to properley tell him how you feel without getting mad

[jen85]

just a little update. we met up last night to talk it through and after a bit of arguing, more or less sorted it and had a cuddle. i burst into tears and i think he released just how upset it was making me. first thing this morning he has emailed her saying to stop texting and calling him with suggestive texts and that he is very happy with me. he keeps telling me how much he loves me so im feeling alot happier and pleased he has set her straight. :o)

[Roughquest]

Hmmm, depends what history they have shared were they married ? How long was he with her for? I am still in touch with my ex after 15 years ! He will always be a part of my life and deep down we still love each other but it stops there, we both have new partners but we will always be there for each other no matter what. You cannot erase the past that was once shared with someone else....I dont contact him everyday though, but we know we are there for one another and also know we dont want to be a couple, he knows me better than anyone I have known all my life.

[Rubyrose]

Men don't think like that... they are like dogs.. they think in black and white and as far as he is concerned he isn't doing anything wrong because he isn't actually cheating! But it is bad enough. But the more you nag him.. the more he will feel drawn to her and the nice times they shared... you need to not bring it up as much as hard as it may seem. You need to make him feel special and make him see that being with you is great fun!

Personally I'd make him dinner, and then have an 'early night' and get him all frisky and as he is getting more turned on I'd say 'I don't know if I can carry on because I am worried about you and your ex'... But keep teasing him... he will soon say he will get shot of her!

[Rubyrose]

Ok, I just read that it is all sorted now. I hope it works out hun. Xx