Ex...

[Rosenicola]

Hi,
I posted a while ago saying that I was finding it difficult getting over an ex.

Basically we split in June last year as we were always arguing and he was forcing me to do things like move in with him, anyway it didn't work.
I got with my best mate (unintentionally) and then decided I wanted my ex back, then I got back with the ex and realised I wanted my mate back. Confusing and a mess around I know, don't lecture me :-) Had it all and I know it wasn't fair..
I'm still with my best mate. I don't love him and he knows this, I have never lead him to believe this neither. It's just casual and we are enjoying ourselves going on holiday and stuff. A bit of companionship I think to be honest.

But at the back of my head, the ex is still there. I just can't decide what I want and it's really frustrating at times, not even being able to make decisions for yourself and feeling content with things.

PPL are always saying to go out and meet new PPL and things like that. I just don't know where to start and to be honest, I'd be fine on my own, I am just so fed up with everything and nothing makes me happy.
Sorry to be so miserable :-)

My ex bought me loads of stuff like grey tatty bears and they are the beautiful big ones and jewellery. Do you think if I get rid of everything he bought me I would feel better?

Also views on the rest of my boring post would be appreciated :-)

[Doc Spock]

Sorry to sound like an old fuddy duddy, which I am, but you said it " Boring post".

[nannon]

As hard as it is and even though sometimes it feels like you are ripping your own heart out - DONT GO BACK! You left for a reason and that reason will come back - or if not another one will appear... Thats what i think anyway.
Maybe best to cut all ties with them both and start afresh? Like you said you'd be fine on your own -maybe thats what you need??

[joannie10]

I dont know you so this is obviously just my thought but how can you say you would be fine on your own - I feel you are settling for someone rather than be on your own. Also cannot understand how your ex could force you to move in with him? I cannot tell you how to make anything change but only you can make the decision of how to make yourself truely happy - perhaps your friendship with your best friend cannot go back to being just friends and therefore you would have had someone to socialise with - do you not have any other friends to get out and about with?

[888sally888]

You need a fresh start - you have to have time on your own and then start afresh when you feel more positive about life and more importantly yourself.

[nannon]

woohooo pa__ul!!!!!!

[Ellegirly 74]

Never go back, always move forth!
You are feeling miserable because you are stuck in a hole, and to be honest I think that's where your ex likes you because he knows where you are and can control you and your emotions.
I think you should break free from anything that is making you feel bogged down, take control, get a grip and if you truly believe you'd be fine on your own, then why don't you take the plunge and be on your own and do what YOU want to do?
You can't be any more miserable can you?!

[4getmenot]

dont go back and stop this with the best mate, you may say he's fine with it but believe me someone always falls, if you carry on like this he wont be your mate forever.

[Rosenicola]

Doc, if u don't like my post, please don't read. I don't need confirmation that it's boring :-)

Thanks Nannon and Pa____ul, I do agree, it's just a bit hard..

Hi Joanne. U may be right, maybe I am settling for anyone.. I do think a lot of my partner at the minute though'. Maybe we were friends for just too long and I think it will probably be too late to get our friendship back.

I don't mean my ex literally man handled into the new house - LOL
He just me feel bad for not doing so and said it was the thing to do as we were together 5 years and he would get mardy whenever I said I wasn't ready, that kind of stuff.
Well I moved in and then we split up 4 months later.

I do have lots of friends to go out with and talk to and that sort of stuff, but the just tell me what I want to hear and stuff.

It's just nice to get advice from someone u don't really know I suppose.

I prob will start spending time on my own and with mates.

Thanks everyone..

P.S, I'm not usually this miserable ;-)

xxx

[joannie10]

as you have other friends I think you should just get out there and have fun with them - enjoy yourself without actually being with someone.

[Doc Spock]

I must get re-incarnated into Marjorie Proops.

[Rosenicola]

Thanks everyone#

All great advice

I will definately take note

xxx