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Mum in law

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raysparx1 | 09:01 Tue 17th Jul 2007 | Body & Soul
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I know I shouldn't laugh but when talking to her yesterday she was saying it was very windy around her house on the weekend, and she hoped that a "Salami" never happened here, another classic was " Oh I love placido Flamingo" and can you pick me up a tub of " Utterly battersby" anybody else got a lovely mum in law law like this or anybody they know that gets the words mixed up ? thanks all.
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Yeah my old mum in law was being told about some man who live's in her street who had acused someone of ******* - she thought they had been burgled and didnt have a clue what ******* meant - not funny for the poor bloke but was hilarious when we explained what it really meant.
bu*gary that shoudl read sorry.
My nan is the same, Ray!

She was reading the paper a few years back and said to me ''Oh look at this love, thousands have been buried in Charso''

I asked her where Charso was, and she replied ''I think it's Switzerland''. When I looked at the paper headline it read ''Chaos'' !!!!
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Thanks you two, so funny, I am still smiling thinking about this great big "Salami" hitting us, spose I will be like it soon,
lol my mom does that all the time!!, she gets confused with the names of things, my daughter was trying to tell her about spongebob squarepants and she couldnt for the life of her understand his name or say it, she calls him square sponge most of the time!!!

she always gets names of places wrong as well
mine keeps "accidently" forgetting where she lives and turns up here!!!!!!!!!!
awww she must obviously feel at home at yours john!, I bet she keeps leaving her stuff there as well "accidently"

Remember the viseo for ''Call Me Al'' by Paul Simon which featured Chevy Chase? when it was on TOTP the dialogue in nans house went like this:

''Who is this, love?''
''It's Paul Simon, nan''
''He has grown, hasn't he?''
''No nan, that's Chevy Chase''
''Blimey, he sounds exactly like Paul Simon''

I tried to explain the concept of miming and videos but she couldn't grasp it. To this day she thinks Peter Kay sings like Tony Christie.
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Thanks cazz, square sponge, lol,, john, you love her really, let her move in with you. I am off to work now, thanks again.
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Thanks pip, that is so funny. xx
<< ahem>>
we're moving to Northamton next week, guess who's coming too, "just to make sure the kids settle down ok"

grrrrrrrrrrr
Ray that is so delightfully funny , how cute . :-)
I am in training to be one of these mother in laws in the future I think.

Having spent yesterday morning painting my friend green (quite another story) and in response to her and other friends questioning whether it would stay on I chirped up with if we wanted to be 100% about that I'd have had to use durex....

Whoops.
I work in a care home for residents with extreme dementia and a couple of days ago I went into a residents room after she had come out looking a little worried and confused on entering the room I heard running water and noticed the floor was flooded!! I turned to the resident and she looked at me and exclaimed "all these little creatures climbed out of a box on the floor and dribbled everywhere" and as another carer went to get mops and buckets etc, the resident looked at me again and pointing to the other carer "said that's it, she comes into my room, makes all this mess and leaves it to me to clear up!!!" the things we see and hear with these dear people are absolutely precious!!! I wouldn't change my job for the world!!!
I forgot to mention, she had put the plug in the basin and turned the taps on full!!!
My father passed away when I was 16 and some years later my mum remarried. I am one of 8 children btw.
Well, when it came to the wedding photos at the side of the church it was quite cool and windy. The photographer asked mum to smile , to which she replied , " I'm frigid "
The priest piped up " With 8 children , I don.t think so "
A very smiley photo ensued. She had meant to say she was frozen rigid of course . :-)
LOL!

These are great (still chuckling at Placido Flamingo).
here i am sitting waiting for the gas service guy to come, waste of a day off arrrgh, anyway couldnt stop laughing at these postings, i work nights and my mate is always either saying things backwards, or when we were talking about a chicken curry recipe, she said she puts "prozen frees" in hers, the sad thing is that i understood what she was saying!
'Morning, ray! :o) x

My nan had her living room decorated a few years ago, and excitedly told me over the phone that the lovely man had put her a dildo rail up. :o)
My mother's neighbour, who is now in her nineties, goes through whole conversations when you just have to keep a straight face as she knows "I've done it wrong again, haven't I?" for example:
" The lady had a nasty asteroid in her ear"
"I think he was Catholic as he had a rosemary on the wall" and my favourite, "Look at all those swans and singlets" She is a total gem!

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